


To Cherish

by Miyamon



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Cameo appearances by other members of their houses, Comfort, Cuddling, Especially Dorothea and Sylvain, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, felix and bernadetta on opposing sides, felix has a soft spot for her but refuses to let himself believe it, sort of slow burn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2020-10-21 05:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20688422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miyamon/pseuds/Miyamon
Summary: It wasn't romantic. At all. And it definitely wasn't as if he actuallylikedthe girl or anything. She was just so pitifully weak he had to protect her. It really was nothing more than that. Never mind the fact that she was in a different house. Felix/Bernadetta. (Started off as drabbles, but turned into multi chapter)





	1. Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> There was a definite lack of Felix/Bernadetta content.. I couldn't help myself, they're both adorable. This chapter is loosely based on their earlier support conversations. Enjoy!

Felix tried to wonder how had gotten into this situation in the first place. He’d been chasing this stupid girl all over the monastery to give her back her satchel, but all she did was squeal and run off again. When he had finally managed to corner her, she’d somehow managed to faint standing up. He sighed, glancing down at the girl he was currently carrying towards the dormitories. Someone from the Black Eagles had to be around to get her off of his hands. He was already itching to get back to the training grounds and be done with this.

Approaching the dorms and ignoring any glances or whispers from random students at the sight of him carrying Bernadetta, he spotted a taller brunette, chatting with a classmate. She was in the Black Eagles, wasn’t she? Worth a shot, he figured.

“You there.” 

The girl whipped around. “My name is Dorothea, you kno- Bernie? Why do you have Bernie?” Dorothea’s initial reaction of annoyance had quickly melted away into concern.

Shifting her uncomfortably in his arms, he noticed for the first time how small and light she really was. Snapping back to the task at hand, he answered Dorothea. “She fainted and there was no one else around. Take her to her room.” He motioned to pass the fainted girl to Dorothea, to which she laughed.

Resting a finger on her chin she hummed. “Well. It’s.. surprisingly sweet of you to bring her all the way here, Felix. I’m afraid it’ll be difficult for me to carry her. Her room is just this way.” The smugness in her voice instantly annoyed the hell out of Felix. 

“I’m not doing this to be nice. It was a nuisance to have her fainting in the first place.” Felix scoffed. 

Dorothea tried to hide her smirk as they walked. “Yes, yes. Of course.” Swinging the door of Bernadetta’s room open, she gestured to the bed. “You can lay her there. I’ll call Linhardt to look her over.”

Felix gently laid her on the bed, trying to ignore Dorothea's gaze burning overly observant holes into his back. The quicker he was out of here the better, he thought.  
He glanced around at her room. It was actually kind of…homey, with all the embroideries and knitting needles laying around.

Dorothea giggled. “Thanks again, Felix. I’ll tell Bernie that you brought her here when she wakes up.” 

“Don’t do that. There’s no need. I’d prefer it if you didn’t actually. Now get out of my way. You’re blocking the door.” He said curtly.

Dorothea huffed and stepped to the side as he passed without looking back. “He’s really no fun at all. But he’s kind of sweet, in his own way.”


	2. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place a little after Chapter 1 (and their B support).

“Wauughghhh!”

Felix snapped awake. A screech in the hallway? Was someone being attacked? At this hour of night? There were plenty of young nobility in the dorms. It wouldn’t be an entirely foreign concept for an assassination attempt to be made. Stealthily creeping out of bed, he grabbed his sword and edged near his door. 

Sliding his sword quietly out its sheath, he cracked the door open. The hallway was dimly lit, and in the candlelight he saw a figure huddled on the ground. “Who’s there?”

“Please don’t kill me!” the huddled figure on the floor squeaked.

Felix blinked and his shoulders relaxed. Shoving his sword back into its sheath, he stepped into the hallway and sighed. “Bernadetta? What on earth are you doing here on the ground at this time of night?”

“W-well you see, night is the only time that its really quiet and empty and I was just passing through and it’s kind of scary at night too but I stubbed my toe and tripped and I-“ she stammered.

Pressing a finger to his temple he exhaled again. “I think I got it. This is a colossal waste of my time.”

That sent her off babbling again. “I’m-I’m sorry! I knew I shouldn’t have left my room!”

Felix was hit with a small twinge of guilt. “That’s.. That isn’t what I meant…” Felix sighed. "Here. Get up.” He extended a hand and helped her get up to her feet. “Does your foot still hurt?” He was already awake now anyway. He might as well help her before she wakes up the whole school. 

“N-no, I think I can walk.” It was just a stubbed toe, after all. She avoided his gaze. With a small gasp she realized that her hand was still in his, she quickly pulled it back. 

Was her face red or was it his imagination? Felix internally shrugged it off. “Where were you trying to go?”

“Oh! Um…The library…. I wanted to put back this book.” She motioned to a thick book in her other hand. It looked like something Ashe would probably read.

He sighed again. “Alright. I’ll walk you there. If only to prevent you from creating more chaos in the hallways at this time of night.”

“W-what?”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said I’d walk with you. Don’t make me say it again.” He turned away from her. She could be so dense. 

“Why… why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?” 

He scoffed. “If you think this is being nice you’re stupider then I thought. I’m preventing you from waking up the other half of this academy. Now let’s go or I’ll leave you behind.” He began walking in the direction of the library. 

“Wait for me!!!” she yelped and quickly scampered after him. For some reason, she couldn't help the smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! See you next time for chapter 3!


	3. Cat and Mouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place a few days after Chapter 2! Enjoy!

It isn’t too long before he starts to get the feeling he’s being watched. He feels it on the training grounds, in the halls, and even in the dining hall. But every time he stops to look around, it’s just people carrying about business as usual.

Or so he thought.

It was after lectures one day, when he was heading to the training ground that he swore he saw a flash of purple and everything clicked.  
_It has to be her,_ he thought. But just to confirm his suspicions he decided to mix up his routine. In the middle of his trek to the training grounds he stopped abruptly and changed course to the library. If he noticed her sneaking around him again then it would confirm that she’d been following him.

It was once he approached the library that she confirmed his suspicions and she slipped up. He had spotted her dart around the corner of the hallway.

He stopped walking. “You know, you aren’t as sneaky as you look.”

Silence.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Are you going to come out or I am coming to you? Bernadetta.” There was a characteristic squeak behind the corner of the hallway. _Got her,_ he thought.

“H-how did you see me?” Her head poked out from around the corner.

“I said it before. You aren’t as sneaky as you look. I know you’ve been following me this past week. What do you want?” He walked up to her and crossed his arms.

She played nervously with the drawstrings of her hoodie. “I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t have been following you around, it’s just so terribly rude, in fact I shouldn’t even be here right now, I’m sorr-“

“Stop rambling.” he cut her off. “What do you want from me? Is it really that hard to just talk normally?”

“I.. It’s just that you’re kind of scary so it’s hard to..um… talk to you sometimes.” Her gaze was at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with him.

Felix rolled his eyes. “Then don’t talk to me if I’m so scary. Don’t you have someone in your house you can follow around?”

Bernadetta stopped to think for a moment. “Well, not exactly, Hubert is even scarier than you, and Caspar is really rough, and Edelgard might even be scarier than anyone in the whole school-Wait! That’s not what I came here to say..” She took a deep breath. “What I wanted to say is, um. Thank you. For taking me to the library the other night. It's usually really scary, but it was less scary when you were there.” She exhaled like she had accomplished some great goal.

Felix’s mind blanked for a moment. She was thanking him? Aside from confusion, he felt oddly... touched by the whole ordeal? Not that he actually cared. Nor did he intend to show it. He wasn’t actually quite sure how to react. His initial gut instinct told him he should come up with some snarky reply but he bit his tongue. It wasn’t the time.

He sighed and waved it off. “It’s fine. Just quit following me around. If you want to talk to me, come up and do it normally.” he said, as non-threateningly as he could manage.

It seemed to have worked, because she smiled at him. “Okay..I can try that. It’s just hard being outside of my room. I’d prefer to be there all the time, you know?”

_ ‘No, I don’t know’_ he wanted to respond, but he bit his tongue again.

“I see. Well, if we’re done here. I need to train.” He turned to leave.

“Wait!” Her hand shot out and grabbed his sleeve.

“What now?” His voice came off with an annoyed tone, which seemed to frighten her again, and she quickly released him.

Felix took a deep breath. _Non-threatening_, he told himself. “I mean, what did you want?”

“I uh… Well, there’s some cats in the courtyard by the market but um... There’s a lot of people there.” She fiddled with her hands.

“And?”

“Well, going to the library at night was a lot less scary with you, so I thought maybe I could even go to the courtyard and feed the cats if you were there. Even if there are crowds.” She looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“So you want me to go with you and…_feed stray cats_?” Felix almost couldn’t believe it. Feed cats? With this girl? Did she know who she was talking to?

“I’m sorry it was a stupid idea! Just forget I ever said it- Ugh Bernie you blew it!” She covered her face with her hands.

He shook his head. “Just relax. I’ll..I’ll go with you to feed the cats. But it can’t take too long. I need to train.”  
It was just a one time thing, what could be the harm? Besides, he didn’t exactly _dislike_ her, or cats for that matter.

“Really? You will?” The way her face lit up instantly was almost adorable, Felix thought before quickly dispelling the thought.

“Yes. Now let’s go before I change my mind.”

She clasped her hands and beamed at him. “Yay! Let’s go!”

As she took off skipping ahead of him and he hid a small grin behind his hand. She was so simple it was almost pathetic, but he wasn’t exactly annoyed when he was around her. He took off into a light jog to catch up with her. It wouldn't hurt to spend time with her, even if it took away from training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been updating every day...The Felix/Bernie agenda fuels me. Thank you for reading!


	4. Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last pre-time skip chapter! It takes place during the time of the White Heron Ball. Enjoy!

School days flew by. With monthly assignments and certification exams, Felix rarely found himself with a spare moment. Any free time he did have was more or less dedicated to training.

Even then, with differing schedules, Bernadetta had taken to popping around the training grounds. Not even to train but she would read while Felix did his sword training. Even if they weren’t speaking necessarily during those moments, it was still sort of nice, having her around. Not like he would tell her, anyway.

It's another day of going at it with a dummy in the training grounds when he stops and glances around the surrounding area. Noting that she isn’t there that day, he’s almost surprised that he feels...a weird sense of disappointment? With his concentration lost, he decides to take a breather for a minute. It’s then when the quiet of the training grounds is disrupted and Sylvain bursts in. 

“Felix! Just the man I’ve been looking for.” Sylvain rushes over and jovially claps a hand on Felix’s back. 

“What is it, Sylvain?” Felix glares at him. Sylvain always came at the most inopportune moments.

Sylvain pouts. “Aw, don’t start our conversation off so negatively, you don’t even know what I’m going to say yet!”

Felix lifts a questioning eyebrow. “Am I wrong to assume it’s going to be about something entirely pointless?”

Sylvain fakes a wounded look. “Yes, absolutely! This is a topic of the utmost importance.”

Felix sighs. “Alright, I give up. What is it?”

Sylvain grins at him. “Who are you going to dance with at the White Heron Ball?”

Felix promptly turns away from him and picks up his sword to resume training. “And you’ve proved me correct yet again. An entirely pointless conversation.”

He begins hacking away at the dummy while Sylvain hovers around him.

“C’mon… Who’s it gonna be? Mercedes? Annette? Ingrid? You could even dance with me, if you wanted. I’m dying to know. You’re not gonna let your youth go by without experiencing the heart-pounding thrill of romance, are you?”

Ignoring him, Felix continues his sword thrusts. “Shut up. I have no intention of dancing at some stupid ball.”

Sylvain gasps and clutches his chest. “How-How could you say such a thing? It’s so cruel…”

Felix turns to him. “It’s a waste of time.”

“We’ll see about that. Is there really no one you’re interested in?” 

“No.”

He ignored Sylvains pestering and tried to get some more practice in. Dances and the like were stupid ideas.

.

.

.

.

A week later, on the actual night of the ball, Felix was displeased to see that the training grounds were locked up. He cursed to himself and walked through the monastery. It was evening, and it was eerily quiet, with everyone still dancing away at the ball.

He had never enjoyed dancing. Most of it was just a meaningless distraction. He strolled aimlessly, not in the mood to hang out around the hustle and bustle of the ball or hole up in his room. Spotting the Goddess Tower, his curiosity piqued. He’d never actually been inside.

Walking up the winding staircase of the tall tower, he heard footsteps that weren’t his own.

“Who’s there?” His hand instinctively flew to the sheath on his waist.

“It’s me! Don’t kill me!“

He relaxed. It was.. Bernadetta?

“Bernadetta. I’m not going to kill you. Would you quit with that?” He walked up the last few steps to join her on the upper level, where she had been hiding out, it seemed.

“Sorry. I- I just didn’t expect there to be anyone else here.”

“I’m surprised you’re out of your room, actually.” Going to the ball for Bernadetta seemed most certainly unrealistic. He had assumed she was going to just hide away for the evening.

“Dorothea locked my door.. She said I was going to go to the ball but I managed to escape and run up here.” She pouted.

“Huh. I guess this must be the quietest place in the monastery right about now. I’ve never actually been up here before.”

“It’s even nice during the day, but the view at night is really pretty too. Do you want to see?” She led him over to the balcony, where they could see the reaches of the monastery, illuminated in moonlight.

“Wait, why are you here? Shouldn’t you be at the ball?” Bernadetta turned to him questioningly.

Felix shrugged, leaning on the balcony railing. “I don’t see the point in them. Music and dancing.. I never really was suited for it. I had actually been hoping to get some training in, but they had locked the training grounds, actually.”

Bernadetta giggled. “Heh, looks like we’ve both been locked out, huh?”

The corner of his lip quirked. “I suppose we have. And you’re actually talking to me.”

Bernadetta puts her hands on her hips “Huh? W-what’s that supposed to mean?”

Felix fought the urge to laugh at her little show of indignation. “Nothing. And you were right. The view from the tower is quite nice at night. I never realized.”

There were a few moments of comfortable silence as they really took in the sight before them.

“The moon really is pretty, isn’t it?” Bernadetta had her elbows on the railing, rest her head in her palms. “I could look at it all night.” She sighed. 

Glancing at her Felix lifted a hand to cover his mouth when felt himself smile again. “Yeah. Me too.” Smiling seemed to happen more around her these days. He shook the thought out of his head and gazed back out towards the view.

The small balcony on the tower overlooked most of the monastery. The night was particularly cool and crisp and Felix felt comfortable here. It was…nice.

After a few minutes of silent moongazing, Bernadetta spoke. “Hey Felix.. I’m sorry.”

“Now what are you apologizing for?” He crossed his arms.

“I’m not even sure. But I think it was unfair of me to be so.. Um.. Frightened of you all those times. When I think about it, you’ve just been trying to help me.” She played with the hem of her shirt.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. It was really nothing like that.” He shrugged. _’You’re just so weak I can’t help but help you.’_ he thought.

“Well I know we’re in different houses, and we don’t have any classes together, but maybe …Wecouldbefriends?” The last few words she blurted out so quickly, Felix almost missed them. Almost.

He bit his tongue to stop his initial reaction of brushing her off. Knowing how much nerve this must be taking her, he was actually somewhat impressed.

“Idiot. We already are.” He avoided looking at Bernadetta when he said that. It was such a cool, clear night but suddenly his face felt warm.

She burst into laughter. “I..I guess you’re right. That’s two good things from today.” She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as she chuckled.

“Two?” He looked at her questioningly.

“Well…I got to see this view with you…” She paused for a moment. “And I got to see you smile.”

If he was uncertain that his face was hot before, it certainly felt hot now. He was suddenly thankful that it was nighttime and the dim moonlight hid his face from her.

He poked her forehead. “Don’t be dumb.” he scoffed at her, but he failed to hide his smile this time.

She giggled again. “Let’s come back to the Tower sometime again soon, okay?”

**OUTTAKE**

Sylvain chatted with the girl who’s arm was hooked around his. “Right this way, my lady. The Goddess Tower is the best place in the monastery to- Wait a second..” Was that laughter he heard?

From the ground he peered up to the balcony of the Goddess Tower. Even with the illumination from the full moon, it was still a bit difficult to see, but Sylvain was almost certain that it Felix and… Bernadetta?

He squinted up at them. The source of the laughter really was Felix and Bernadetta! Sylvain smirked. _'Oh… I’m totally gonna tease him with this..' _he thought.

So it wasn’t any of the girls from the Blue Lions, but rather the recluse from Black Eagles? His friend had peculiar taste. He shrugged.

Tugging the girl on his arm in a different direction, he waved his hand. “Looks like the Tower’s occupied. We’ll just have to go somewhere else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand that's that! Two updates in one day! (I'm procrastinating very severely on schoolwork....) Moving forward, the next chapter will take place after the timeskip has occurred. In this fic, Felix and Bernadetta are on different sides, which I'm very excited to write! From next chapter onwards, updates are going to be slightly longer and plot driven, and less like drabbles. I hope you continue to stick around until the end!


	5. Battlefield Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually originally intending to post everything from the Gronder Field chapter in one massive update but...It was super long... I've decided to split it up into shorter sections. The first is just Felix's thoughts before the battle, and his reflections on the past 5 years.

The march to Gronder Field felt endless. Felix, however, was never one to complain about long marches. This was the battle where they were finally going to directly clash with Adrestian forces and potentially even the Leicester Alliance. He knew some of his comrades had mixed feelings regarding this upcoming battle, due to the high likelihood of facing their former classmates.

With intel that each army was being led personally by their leaders, it made sense that they would. Felix didn’t care about that though. An enemy was an enemy. And he would cut them down all the same.

At the very back of his mind, he remembered Bernadetta. It had all happened so suddenly five years ago. During the Invasion of Garreg Mach, the Black Eagles students simply did not participate, and were collected by Adrestian forces during the chaos. There was no time for goodbyes; the rest of them were fighting for their lives. When they had found out that Edelgard was invading Garreg Mach, the bubble of a friendly school environment shattered, leaving the ugly reality of things in its place. Felix felt foolish to have thought that a friendship with a noble from the Adrestian Empire would have ever worked out in the long run.

He found himself wondering in the years afterwards if she had known anything about the Empire’s true intentions when they had talked at the Goddess Tower. He would quickly admonish himself for wasting time on such thoughts. Even if she did know about Edelgard’s true motives, what could she have even done? Leave her noble house and defect from the Empire? Felix disliked blindly obeying orders but he couldn’t blame her. He wouldn’t admit it either, but he even felt the slightest bit of betrayal.

In his years after the academy, his thoughts occasionally drifted to the shy, shut-in girl that was once part of the Black Eagles. The girl that had followed him around the monastery, too shy to actually talk to him. Her flustered face whenever her actually did stop and talk to her. Watching her point out cats in the courtyard of the marketplace and getting excited when they strolled up to her. Her quiet presence in the training grounds as he practiced swordplay. And that last night on the Goddess Tower where they had ended up talking for two hours before realizing how late it was. Saying good night with the promise of taking her to the library later that week. Their unfulfilled promises of returning to the Goddess Tower to watch the next full moon.

Those thoughts would come and go freely, and he would always have to snap himself back to reality. She was probably dead, anyway. It had been 5 years, after all. And the war for the Adrestians had been a bloody one. He was certain that they sustained serious losses on their quest for control of the continent. He grimaced at the thought of her being cut down on the battle field, with nothing but her bow to defend herself. She wouldn't stand a chance in one on one combat. He wondered if perhaps she had decided not to fight and just gone back to her noble house. That certainly sounded like something she could have potentially done. And it would mean that she was still alive-. He shook his head. What was he doing? There was no point in thinking about that girl now. She was completely irrelevant to what he had to do. He just hoped that he wouldn’t ever see her on the battlefield. He looked up at the sky. By noon of the next day they would be at Gronder field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;w;


	6. Gronder Field

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had initially wanted to break this chapter up into a couple updates but..... I couldn't find a good place to break it without there being a weird cliffhanger. Enjoy!

Ingrid cursed and pulled on the reins of her pegasus as she dodged a wave of arrows. “Felix! Take care of that center hill- be careful of that ballista. I can’t get any closer with those arrows coming at me!” She yelled at Felix from above.

Felix cut down another soldier in front of him. “I’m going in. Head back to where Sylvain is and we’ll regroup on the other side of that hill!” Felix called up to her. He watched her wave and retreat. It was too dangerous for her to be fighting in this part of the field with these damn arrows flying everywhere.

The Battle of Gronder Field was exactly as predicted-both Edelgard and Claude had appeared with their allies. The fighting was vicious so far. But Felix knew he could handle himself. Even more so now that he didn't have to worry about Ingrid getting pierced with an arrow.

Pushing forward, he sliced a path through the enemy lines. “Too slow!” He grunted as he cut another soldier down. The man made a pathetic sound before the blood gurgled in his throat and he collapsed. Faceless infantrymen didn’t stand much of a chance against him. Advancing towards the center hill of Gronder field, he saw stairs and a wooden platform. Arrows consistently erupted from the top of the hill, forcing him to sidestep constantly now that he was in close range. Was there a legion of archers up there or something?

After taking down two soldiers at the foot of the hill he peered up. It seemed to be a ballista and a small battalion of archers led by the soldier positioned at the ballista. Deciding to make his move he began up the stairs. It was on his advance that he saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

The archer had purple hair? Could it even be possible?

Realizing he had left himself entirely open like an idiot, he dodged another spray of arrows from the archers on the hill and cursed as one grazed his arm. It wasn’t deep but it stung. '_There goes any chance of having an advantage on them now_,' he thought. There wasn’t time to think. The archers began to rush down the stairs at him. With a swing of his sword, he took one out. _‘Not trained for close combat, are we?’_ he thought as he cut them down one after another

.

.

“Lady Bernadetta! There is a Kingdom swordsman advancing on us. He’s-He’s taking down men left and right. He’s positioned at the foot of the northern stairs.”

Bernadetta, hearing the commotion had instinctively whirled around and drew her bow. Nodding her thanks to the archer she spoke. “Take over the ballista for me. I’ll go take care of it.”

Pointing the tip of her arrow at the man on the stairs she prepared to let it fly-but froze when she caught a glance of his face.

“Felix?” she whispered.

.

.

Having taken care of the last of the Empire soldiers at the foot of the hill he glanced upward and was shocked to see Bernadetta positioned with her bow drawn and an arrow pointed at him.

But she wasn’t moving.

With no one but the dead soldiers littered at his feet, they both stood at a standstill for a moment, staring at each other.

For what couldn’t have been more than a few seconds felt like an eternity to Felix. Was she going to shoot him down?

Their standstill was abruptly broken by Edelgard's voice in the distance. “The Kingdom soldiers will stop at nothing to take the center hill. Fools! We will take away that chance.”

Before Bernadetta could react to her Emperor’s words, flames quickly erupted from the ground beneath her. The entire wooden platform and stairs built onto the hill were swallowed up in flames instantly.

Bernadetta screamed as the flames licked at her legs. The soldier that had been operating the ballista moments before fell into the fire, howling in pain before he succumbed and crumpled to the ground.

Bernadetta felt her legs burn from the flames and suddenly felt extremely dizzy.

This couldn’t be happening… Could it? It had to be a bad dream right? 

The ballista had been positioned on a slab of concrete in the center of the wooden platform, but it had offered little protection from the flames surrounding it. There wasn’t much she could do until she was overtaken by the flames herself.

Squeezing back tears, Bernadetta faintly wondered if she had to die this way, without the swiftness of being cut down on the battlefield. As her consciousness faded and she slumped against the ballista, her mind wandered.

“That had to have been Felix standing at the bottom of the hill. That was good.. .At least he’s.. alive…”

.

.

Felix leapt backwards onto the grass as the stairs beneath his feet erupted into flames. Edelgard had rigged the whole thing to burn with fire magic? It had been a trap. But- those screams. Had Edelgard intended on using Bernadetta as a lure this whole time? She was being sacrificed in order to prevent the hill from being captured by the enemy?

Felix bit his lip and cursed at himself for what he was about to do. But there was no time to stop and think. He would deal with the repercussions of his actions later.

He dove into the flames.

Ignoring the pain roaring through his legs he rushed to the center of the platform, where he saw Bernadetta, slumped against the ballista on the concrete platform. _Still alive, _he thought. Tossing her over his shoulder he once again ignored the searing pain in his legs and took off down the hill.

Almost stumbling a few times he found a nearby spot in the brush that shielded them from view. He quickly laid her on the ground, and proceeded to pat out the parts of his clothes that had embers and were still burning.

Pulling a concoction out of his pouch he took a swig, feeling its immediate effect. The quickly pain seemed to melt from his legs. He was sure he had sustained burns, but it was nothing that Mercedes wouldn’t be able to heal later.

He quickly turned his attention to Bernadetta. Kneeling next to her, he cradled her head gently and poured the rest of the concoction down her throat. When her consciousness did not instantly return he grew worried. _‘No, no no!’_ his mind raced. What else could he do? He didn’t know any healing magic or have any other healing equipment.

Hit bit his lip so hard he drew blood. Hesitantly, he placed an ear to her chest and he heard her faint heartbeat.

_'She's alive!'_ he thought and a wave of relief washed over him. Suddenly she broke out coughing.

“Easy. Don’t move. You inhaled a lot of smoke, I think. Your legs are burned too.”

Blinking at him in confusion for a moment, her eyes suddenly widened with realization. “But-But.. Where…Felix? Where am I?”

She initially recoiled from his grasp, but in her state, she couldn’t really move.

“We’re still at Gronder field. Your emperor set the hill on fire.” He took off his satchel and rested it under he head as a pillow. “You need to rest right now. Stay here and stay out of sight. I’ll come back for you.” _'I swear I will.' _He added in his head.

He stood up and looked her over. It seems like the concoction had worked it’s magic. The burns on her legs looked better already. Casting her one last glance over his shoulder, he took off running towards the sounds of nearby fighting. He was going to end this battle as quickly as he could. 

“Felix- wait!” She called, but her voice was still weak and he was already gone. The pain in her legs still throbbed uncomfortably.

There was no way she could walk, and even if she could, where would she go? Back to the empire? Had Edelgard really intended to burn her alive? Even if she was a bait, or a trap… It was all too much. She shook her head and buried her face in her hands.

She couldn’t stop her silent tears as the battle roared on in the field around her.

.

.

.

.

Wild victory cheers rang out amongst the kingdom soldiers as the last of the empire retreated.

“We did it Felix-We actually did it!” Sylvain turned to Felix who had been fighting at his back a moment earlier to find that he has disappeared.

“Felix?”

He was nowhere to be seen.

.

.

As soon as the the Imperial soldiers began their retreat, Felix took off in the direction of the brush near the hill. The battle was as good as over. Most of the fighting had luckily strayed from the hill once the flames erupted, but there was always the chance that she was noticed by a stray soldier.

He shook those thoughts from his head. He needed to focus on getting to her as quickly as possible.

“Bernadetta!” He found the brush by the hill where he had hidden her.

Sitting with her face in her hands she peaked through her hands to see Felix. She’d been crying.

“Felix… You-you actually came back for me..” Her voice trembled.

“I told you I would.” He kneeled next to her and he helped her into a sitting position, to which she buried her face in his chest.

He blinked, a bit shocked, and not quite sure how to react or what to do with his arms. He settled for resting an awkward hand on her back as she gripped the front of his coat and quietly sniffled into his chest.

“I-I thought I was going to die.. I thought you were going to die. I thought I was going to kill you…It’s been.. F-five years..”

_'She's babbling again,'_ he thought. Somethings just don’t change.

“I’m alive. You’re alive. We’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” He tightened his hold on her.

He’d never really comforted anyone before. He wasn’t sure if he was doing it right, but her sniffling had stopped, at the very least.

It was strange. It had been about 5 years since he last seen her, and even though she looked different, and was taller, (and even commanded a battalion!) she still felt familiar. He rubbed soothing circles on her back. It had seemed like the natural thing to do at the time, and seemed to help calm her down.

After a few moments of silence, he gently pulled her back from his chest and squarely rested his hands on her shoulders.

“There’s something I need to ask you. Are you going to return to the Empire?” he made sure he was looking her in the eyes when he asked. He had to be sure.

Wiping her eyes with the back of her charred sleeve she sniffled. “I-I.. I don’t know…Truth be told.. I wanted to believe in Edelgard. But.. She..” Her face crumpled again and her voice trailed off.

Felix sighed. “Don’t worry about it now. I can bring you back to the Kingdom. I can promise you’ll be safe there.”

Bernadetta sniffled and nodded. “I don’t think I can go back to the Empire. Not anymore.”

Felix nodded in agreement. “We need to get back to the Kingdom forces.” He stood up and lowered a hand to her. “Can you walk?”

She took his hand but struggled to stand on her legs. “I..I don’t think so.”

“Okay. I’ll carry you.” Hoisting her up onto his back she put her arms around his neck.

As Felix carried her away from the battlefield, she glanced back towards the hill and the direction in which the Adrestian forces were stationed, and tried to ignore the tears that escaped her eyes again.

“I’m sorry Felix.. You’re injured and you still have to carry me.. You should have just killed me. I’m… I’m the enemy.” She said softly.

Felix scowled. “Shut up. I’m doing this because I want to.”He internally scolded himself. He had to remind himself to be gentle with her.

A few moments of silence passed. 

“Are you sure it’s going to be okay if you bring me back?” Her small voice came again.

“Yeah. I told you it's going to be okay and it will be.” _‘Even if it not, I’ll make it work out. I’ll figure something out,'_ he thought. 

The walk back to the Kingdom camp was a somber one. Felix took special care not to step on the bodies of fallen soldiers, and he grimaced at the thought of Bernadetta being one of these faceless fallen soldiers.

It wasn’t long before they approached to the encampment. “We’re almost there.” he said, nudging her.

She groaned, and he felt her face bury into his shoulder. “I don’t think I can do this. On second thought, could you just kill me here?”

“It’s a little too late for that. Besides, you drank half of my concoction. Can’t let you go dying on me until you’ve paid me back.“

“That’s not fair! I was unconscious…” she whined.

As he walked into the camp, he debated over where to take her directly to his tent or the medical tent. After wasting a moment on deliberation, Felix lost his chance to make a decision as Ingrid popped out of nowhere, rushing towards him with a concerned look on her face.

“Felix! You disappeared after the battle! We were worried sick-Felix? Who is that?” She stared at Bernadetta, who had yelped and buried her face into Felix’s back and hidden from view when Ingrid arrived.

“It’s Bernadetta. From House Varley.” Felix said plainly, as if he were talking about the weather.

“House Varley… The empire? Bernadetta? Felix why did you bring her here? We don’t take hostages!” Ingrid scolded. “I can’t believe you would do something so irrespon-“

He cut her off before she could continue with her lecture. “Shut up and let me speak. She isn’t a hostage. She’s defecting. That hill that Edelgard set on fire, Bernadetta was on it. She was left for dead.”

Felix felt a rush of anger pass through him at the thought of Edelgard mercilessly sacrificing Bernadetta.

“And… You saved her?” Ingrid blinked at him.

“Yes.”

Ingrid narrowed her eyes. “And you’re sure this isn’t a trap?”

Felix scoffed in annoyance. “Of course not.”

Ingrid took a step closer. “Well.. Bernadetta? Care to speak up for yourself?” She said, in a gentler tone.

Bernadetta, her face still hidden away behind Felix, shook her head.

“I guess that’s a no?” Ingrid tilted her head.

Felix decided to speak up. “She’s badly injured right now and..She’s not..very good at talking..”

“And how do you know?” Ingrid squinted at Felix.

“We were….friends at the academy..” He said lamely. He suddenly felt an odd sense of embarrassment.

Ingrid stared at him like he had two heads. “Who are you and what have you done with Felix?”

Sylvain, who had been eavesdropping from a few feet away suddenly joined the conversation. “Wait, Ingrid. He’s right. They were friends at the academy.”

“Sylvain?! Where did you come from?” Ingrid turned to him.

“Sylvain..” Felix began, but Sylvain cut him off with a wave of his hand and a wink.

“It’s alright. Right now she needs medical attention, right?” Doing a quick once over on their surroundings, Sylvain spotted Mercedes bustling about a few meters away. “Mercedes! Come here, there’s someone you need to treat.”

Mercedes quickly rushed over and gasped. “Oh my- Is that.. Bernadetta?”

Felix angled his head back toward’s Bernadetta, who had been silently clutching him as all this talk had been going on. “Bernadetta, can you stand for a bit? Mercedes is going to take care of you.”

Her grip tightened on him. “Don’t leave me yet… please..” She whispered.

Felix sighed. “Alright. I’ll come with you. Which tent is it Mercedes?”

“Right this way.” Mercedes began leading them in the direction of the medical tents.

“And Felix? We’ll talk to Dimitri for you.” Sylvain said.

Felix nodded before taking off to follow Mercedes. _‘Sylvain... Thank you.’_ he thought.

As she stared at Mercedes, Felix, and Bernadetta walking towards the medical tents, with her mouth wide open she whirled on Sylvain.

“What on earth just happened there? I’ve never seen him treat anyone that..._tenderly_. I didn’t even know they were friends? I didn’t even know he talked to people in other houses, much less the recluse girl from Adrestia? Did you know about this?”

Sylvain laughed. “I didn’t really know if they were friends, but on the night of the White Heron Ball at the academy, I saw the two of them up on the Goddess Tower balcony. And they were laughing. I almost forgot about it entirely.”

“That’s almost.. sweet." Ingrid almost couldn't believe it.

“I think it’s good for him. Besides, I’ve never seen him so protective over someone like that. It’s kind of cute.” Sylvain said.

“But is it really alright? She’s a noble from the Empire. If this gets misinterpreted as a hostage situation or- "

Sylvain cut her off with a wave. “Well he did say that she was left for dead. I think for now we just have to assume everything is going to be alright and watch over them for now.”

.

.

.

“She’s all healed up. She should fall asleep soon and get a nice long rest. You should rest too, Felix. You’re lucky you both drank that concoction so quickly after being burned. You both could have been stuck with some unfortunate scars." Mercedes wiped the beads of sweat off her forehead. Bernadetta was resting on a bed roll in one of the smaller, private tents. 

“T-thank you…” Bernadetta whispered from her bed roll, her voice muffled by the blanket she had pulled up past half of her face.

Mercedes smiled at her. As she gathered her things together, Felix bowed his head at her.

“Thanks, Mercedes.”

She rested a hand on his shoulder. “You need to get some sleep.” She smiled at him again before exiting the tent.

Felix poked Bernadetta's forehead. “Looks like you’re gonna be all fixed up.”

She smiled weakly at him. “How are your legs?”

“Not as bad as yours. You were in the fire for much longer than I was.” He shrugged. The burns on his legs had healed quickly with magic, as had the arrow wound on his arm.

“I’m scared Felix….” Her voice trembled again.

“Don’t be. You’re safe now.”

“What if Dimitri doesn’t let me stay? And I get e-executed?” She gripped her blanket.

Felix snorted. “As if I would let him. Trust me.”

She visibly relaxed. “Promise?”

“Yeah.” After realizing how close he was to her bedroll he began to get up. What on earth was he doing?

“Uh..Get some rest.. okay? I’ll be back later.” Her hand shot out and grabbed his before he could leave.

“Could you stay with me..? At least until I fall asleep?“

He sighed. She was making being distant so difficult. It couldn’t be helped. She was really pathetically weak, and he did make a promise to protect her. That was all, really. What kind of a person would he be if he couldn’t fulfill a simple promise?

“Fine. But only until you fall asleep.” He had half expected her to release his hand once he agreed to stay, but she didn’t.

Her hand was warm and small, but not soft, he thought. Years of archery must have made her hands rough. He felt her trace little circles on his hand with her thumb until they slowed and stopped entirely. Her breathing evened out and he realized she had fallen asleep. Taking advantage of the moment Felix studied her sleeping face.

She was so much more peaceful when she was asleep, with a calm expression on her face. Her hairstyle now was different too, and she was taller. She had even been commanding a battalion when their paths crossed on the battlefield.

_‘She’s really been working hard’_ he thought. Felix caught himself involuntarily smiling and snapped out of it. What was the matter with him? First he dove headfirst into a fire to pull her out, and now he was holding her hand while she slept? Today must be the weirdest day of his life.

He moved to pull his hand out of hers but he didn’t think he could pull his hand away without waking her. Sighing softly, he settled onto the grass next to her bed roll. He supposed he could stay here for a bit, he thought as his eyes fluttered shut. With the sound of her gentle breathing beside him and the warmth of her hand in his, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bernadetta isn't the only one on fire.. Two updates in one day... I'm dying.. but I'm so impatient to post the rest of the story. And they're together again! Felix is trying so hard to be gentle with her, it's cute... ;w; See you guys soon with Chapter 7!


	7. Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually thought this fic up initially without considering Felix's thoughts on Rodrigue because I was hyper focused on him and Bern, but here's a quick chapter!

Felix cracked his eyes open. Judging by the light filtering into the tent, it’s morning. Glancing to his side, he sees Berndatta is still fast asleep, turned on her side facing him, her hand still lightly grasping his. Sliding his hand out of hers, he quietly got up and slipped out of the tent. Better for them not to wake up together. It would just complicate things.

Strolling through the early morning camp, he sees soldiers beginning preparations for the march back to Garreg Mach. Noting that he had grown quite hungry, he decided to look for food to bring back to the tent for himself and Bernadetta. No doubt she would be starving when she woke up.

Spotting Sylvain and Ingrid amidst the hustle and bustle of the soldiers, he jogged over.

“Hey.”

They both flinched when he approached and looked at him, their faces drained of color.

“What’s wrong?” Felix crosses his arms. He felt himself tense up. 

They both look at each other, exchanging a silent conversation and then and look at him.

“Felix… We just found out this morning..” Ingrid starts.

“Found what out?” Felix feels himself growing impatient.

“We’re sorry..” Sylvain says, rubbing the back of his head.

“Now you’re just pissing me off. What happened?” Felix almost feels bad for snapping at them, but to be fair, they _really_ were pissing him off.

“Your father.. He died.” Sylvain says, looking at the ground.

Felix feels his stomach lurch. His father died?

“He-“ Sylvain starts to explain but Felix swiftly cuts him off.

“Don’t. I’m going for a walk.” He turns quickly and walks away. He had to just get away.

“Felix! We’re here if you need us.” He hears Ingrid call from somewhere in the distance behind him, but he ignores it.

The earlier business of the camp becomes white noise around him, and he feels like he's about to faint. Walking aimlessly through the camp with an awful dizzy feeling, he felt whatever appetite he had earlier had vanished entirely.

His feelings towards his father were complicated but he hadn’t expected him to die as suddenly as this. He didn’t even want to know the details. What good would they do anyway? He was already dead. He loathed the pitying looks and glances Ingrid and Sylvain had given him. As if he were a fragile child. It reminded him too much of the looks people gave him when Glenn had died as well. He wasn't prepared to deal with it. Not again.

Unsure of where to go or what to do with himself, he just returned to the medical tent where Bernadetta was sleeping.

Pushing the flap of the tent open, she stirred before rubbing her eyes. “Felix..”

“Good morning.” He dropped to the ground besides her. There must have been a dead giveaway in his body language or tone of voice because she shifted into a sitting position and tilted her head at him.

“Felix? Is something wrong?” There was no mistaking the concern in her voice.

"Nothing's wrong. How are your wounds?"

"They're um.. They don't hurt any more. Mercedes did a really good job."

"That's good." He said, but his voice came out flat. 

"Felix, are you sure everything is okay?" She asked again. 

Felix sighed. He debated on whether or not to tell her. He wasn’t looking to be consoled, but he didn't think Bernadetta would pity him.

“My father was killed.” He said curtly.

“Oh-Oh my goodness. Felix.. I’m sorry.” She cast her gaze down instantly. 

“Don’t be stupid. You didn’t kill him.” Felix shrugged.

“I know. I just…I fought for the people that did....” Her shaky voice came out and she was fiddling with her hands again. 

“And they tried to kill you too.” Felix said. He wanted to dispel her feelings of guilt. She wasn't the one that killed his father. She didn't have anything to do with it.

Bernadetta is quiet, staring at her hands.

“We weren’t all that close, anyway. Our relationship was really shitty these last few years.” Felix continued, not sure if he's saying it more for her sake or his.

She's quiet again for a moment before she speaks.

“I didn’t get along with my father either." Her voice is tiny. 

“Did.. Did he die?”

“No. Edelgard imprisoned him when she took the throne, though. I was so happy. I felt safe in my own house for the first time in my life. He used to tie me up and a bunch of other horrible things." She pauses, her voice still shaky. "I feel safest in my room because it used to be the one place where he wouldn’t harass me.”

“I..I see.” Felix had no idea. It suddenly made her quirks so much more understandable. 

“But your father.. He wasn’t a cruel man, was he?” She was looking at him now.

“No..No, he wasn’t.” Felix stared hard at the ground. For some reason, thinking about his father just made his head hurt now. 

Her hand timidly reached out and rested on top of his.

“Felix…It’s okay to be sad.”

He shook his head and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“We need to begin preparations for the march. We’re heading back to Garreg Mach.” He pulled away from her and stood up. There was no use in lamenting over the dead. He had to protect the ones who were alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;w;


	8. To Garreg Mach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rare chapter from Bernadetta's perspective!! Enjoy this quick update!

The march back to Garreg Mach was nearly uneventful.

Bernadetta, now fully, recovered, stuck to Felix’s side like glue. She wasn’t as shy as she was when she was in the academy, but suddenly joining an army you were fighting days earlier was still a jarring experience. She still hid herself behind Felix when an unknown soldier or officer approached. He didn't seem to mind being her shield, at least that's what it seemed like to Bernadetta. 

The past few days had been a whirlwind of emotions for her, in between almost dying in a fire, reuniting with Felix, and joining the Kingdom's forces. Not to mention the way her heart pounded now when Felix talked to her. She racked her brain to remember if it had always been this way. It felt different from their academy days, and the heart-pounding sensation was different from her usual exhilaration when talking to people. It was one that made her feel like she could explode with happiness but she wasn't sure he was even feeling the same way.

She stared at his back while they marched. He was different now too. He hadn't grown much taller (if at all) but his back felt wider. He was more muscular than before. But he was also more gentle. In the brief time since the Battle of Gronder Field, he had shown her so much care and consideration that Bernadetta sometimes could hardly believe it.

Despite his kindness towards her, she knew he was quietly mourning. She struggled to get him to open up about it, but he had emotionally and physically retracted away from her each time. _'Maybe this is what Dorothea meant when she said time can heal all wounds' . _

_S_he thought initially maybe he just had no interest in being vulnerable with her, but throughout the march she watched him respond with a blank expression and a tight lipped _’Thank you’_ to his friends when they found him and offered condolences. He seemed unwilling to talk about it with them as well, which worried her even more.

She faintly thought of her old classmates from the Empire, and wondered if they were back in Enbarr yet. Had any of them died in battle? Did they think that she died in that battle? Would they ever think about her again? Not that she could ever go back. Not anymore.

“How are your legs? Are you sure you can walk? I can get a horse for you, you know.” Felix’s concerned voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

Without realizing it, she had started to drag behind him. She smiled. He was becoming such a worrywart; it was endearing.

“I’m fine, Felix. A little marching is good for me.” She flashed him a weak grin.

“If you say so. Let me know if you get tired.” Looking unconvinced, he shrugged and continued marching.

She quickened her pace so that they were walking side by side, instead of her trailing a few paces behind him.

“Hey..Felix?”

“Hm?”

“What happens when we get back to Garreg Mach?” She hadn't seen the old monastery since her academy days. She had heard rumors that it had fallen into disrepair, and become a haven for bandits.

“We begin preparations for our next move. Aside from that, the daily schedule isn’t all too different from academy life, really. We restore the monastery, and we all have responsibilities, but we still dedicate time to training.”

“I see..” Bernadetta said. It was a weird feeling, to be returning to the monastery. She wondered if her old bedroom was intact still, idly. 

The conversation waned into a comfortable silence, and they continued their march until a few more of Felix's friends had come to give their condolences, and dip their heads in a quick, but respectful bow in Bernadetta's direction. When they had left, Bernadetta poked her head out from behind Felix to see if they were still there.

"Do they frighten you?" he asked.

"H-huh?" 

"The Kingdom soldiers."

She tapped a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "Well.. I don't think the fact that they're Kingdom soldiers is what frightens me... Sometimes too many new people..It gets a little overwhelming. You've all done nothing to show me kindness since you've taken me in.. And yet I still repay them by hiding every time someone comes by. It's pathetic, isnt it?" She laughs weakly. She hates being like this, but still being here with so many unfamiliar faces is jarring and she's not quite used to it yet.

"It's not. You've been through a lot recently. Just take it slowly." He pokes her cheek. What started off as a teasing gesture quickly turned into an act that made her feel like firecrackers were exploding within. 

She smiled at him, genuinely this time. "Yeah.." 

.

.

.

They walked in comfortable silence for a bit. Bernadetta had snuck a glance at Felix's face as they marched and noticed he wore a troubled expression, as if he were arguing within himself. Right when she decided to ask him about it, he broke the silence first.

“Listen Bernadetta. I don’t think you should fight anymore.” He avoided her gaze.

She blinked. She had never even considered taking up a non-combat position. “What?”

“When we return to the monastery, there’s plenty of other things you could do. There’s no need to put yourself back into war.” His voice was tinged with a slight urgency.

_'Is he..worried about me?'_ she thought. It makes sense, she rationalized. His father had just died; he knew the personal wounds and danger of battle more than anyone else.

Bernadetta smiled softly and shook her head. “I don’t think I could ever do that.”

Felix suddenly whirled on her and grabbed her by the shoulders so he was squarely in front of her. “It’s dangerous on the battlefield. It isn't a game. You almost died at Gronder Field!” He said sternly. 

Bernadetta is a bit surprised by his sudden emotionalness, but she shook her head again. “I know that! I know... But I don’t want you to go back into battle alone. You saved me, Felix. I’m only alive right now because of you. If.. If I can even have the chance of saving you in battle.. It’ll grant the life you’ve given me purpose. Don’t you see?” She kept her voice steady and firm. If she let herself get emotional and cry in front of him right now she would only be proving his point. She had no intention of sitting alone at Garreg Mach while he was away at battle.

Felix opened his mouth to retaliate but nothing came out. His grip on his shoulder loosened a bit.

“I.. I don’t want you to think I’m throwing away my life either.. I have no intention of dying.” She added, for good measure. If he was worried about her dying, she had to work even harder from now on to get stronger. She would not throw away the life he had given her. 

“We’re going to be fighting your friends, you know. Are you alright with that?” His voice still has the same stern urgency, as if he’s still trying to convince her to lay down her bow and take up a civilian position.

“I can’t fight for an Empire that sacrifices their people. I know.. I know that I don’t want to kill my friends, but I have to do what my heart says.” She says firmly.

Sighing, he releases her. “Alright. I hope you don’t regret your decision. Now let's go. We're falling behind." He turns away from and begins walking ahead.

_ ‘I don’t think I could ever regret my decision.’_ Bernadetta thinks, following behind him. ‘_Not if it means I have the chance to keep you safe.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that the life-and -death nature of battle is weighing pretty seriously on Felix's mind right now. He's kind of desperate to protect the people precious to him and he's not too eager to see Bernadetta in battle again. At the same time I think she wouldn't let him go into battle without her anymore. She'd worry too much.


	9. Pillow Talk

It was nightfall when the Kingdom's army returned to Garreg Mach. Exhausted, everyone had almost instantly dispersed and split off to their respective quarters. Felix looked at Bernadetta. She looked absolutely wiped.  
“Your old room is unoccupied, I think. Only those of us who lived in the dorm at our time in the academy still use them now.“ he said, pointing over to the direction of the dormitories.   
“Really? It’s been five years.. I wonder if it still looks the same…” She wondered aloud.  
“It won’t. The who monastery was a haven for bandits. Everything was looted. We’ve been restoring everything though, but whatever personal items you had there are probably long gone.” He said as they walked towards the dorms.  
“Ah.. I see. That makes sense.” He watched her glance around at the monastery as they approached her old room. It probably looked like a whole different place now. Comparatively a dump to how it was when they were in the academy.   
Standing outside her door he gestured towards it. “Well here we are. Get some rest. I’ll tell Ingrid or Mercedes to drop by with a change of clothes for you.” He said, turning to walk away.

She grabbed his sleeve. "Felix!"  
He blinked, surprised. “Hm?”  
“Thank you.. You didn’t have to do all this for me..." She began.  
He sighed. “Stop being silly. We’ve been over this already.”  
"I’m sorry.." She apologized sheepishly.  
“And what did I say about apologizing all the time?” He said, playfully exasperated.  
“I’m sorry about that too!” She pouted.  
He flashed a quick smile at her antics.  
"Aha! You just smiled!" She grinned and pointed at him. She always made such a big deal of his smiles, even when they were still in the academy.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now go to sleep. You look like you're about to collapse.” He poked her forehead.

He waved good night and once she closed the door to her room, he made off for his own quarters.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Laying awake in his old bed he stared at the ceiling. Moonlight filtered in through his window, and he thought about his father again. So many things had been left unspoken, and there was nothing he could do. He had to keep looking to the future, even if it pained him. Without Bernadetta around to keep him occupied it seems like negative thoughts were just popping into his head at random. He had been so busy concerning himself with making sure Bernadetta was alright the last few days that now that he was finally alone and back in his room, he was stuck with less than pleasant thoughts. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, but his brain refused to let him sleep. Growing annoyed at his inability to rest, he began to consider going to the training grounds to blow off steam, even if it was after midnight. If he couldn't sleep, he might as well train, he figured.  
A light knock at his door yanked him out of his thoughts.  
Padding over to his door, he felt ready to kill Sylvain or whoever it was for knocking so late, but he was surprised to see a timid looking Bernadetta standing outside.  
Concern painted his face. “What happened? Are you okay?”  
She fiddled with her hands.  
“I.. I can’t sleep.” Her voice was quiet.  
He looked at her quizzically.  
“Nightmare.” she clarified.  
"Ah.. Do you want to.. Er, talk about it?" What was the normal thing to say in this situation? He's never been in this position before.   
She shook her head. "Not really. I just don't want to be alone."

"Alright." He opened his door wider and and walked back to his bed. "Aren't you coming?" He turned back towards her.

"W-wha?" She stared at him.  
Lifting up his cover and getting back into his bed, he patted an empty spot on his bed. “Aren’t you going to sleep?”  
“I-In your b-bed? With y-you?” she stammered.  
“We’ve spent the last few nights sleeping on the grass next to each other, I can’t see how this is any different. It's really not a big deal.” Maybe a little more comfier, and just a tad bit more cramped, but almost the same thing basically.  
He couldn’t make out her face very well in this lighting, so it was hard to see her expression.

"Are you going to or not?" 

She squeaked before closing his door behind her and scampering over to his bed. 

He held up his blanket for her so she could get under.   
Felix was certain if it was anyone other than Bernadetta he would have died of embarrassment, but for some reason, she was so vulnerable and easy to be around, doing things like this felt easy and even natural to him. He wouldn’t admit it to her either, but he had also gotten used to sleeping besides her, and it took his mind away from the thoughts of his father.  
Slipping into his bed next to him, she still maintained a few inches between them.

She reached for his hand. “Is this okay?”  
“If it’ll help you sleep.” He didn't really care either way. If falling asleep holding his hand was all she wanted, he could let her do that.   
She turned on her side towards him, holding his hand. “G-good night, Felix.” She gave his hand a quick squeeze.  
“Mhmm. Good night.” He couldn’t help but feel his heart rate speed up a bit.

What was he, some stupid teenage boy? He was the one that invited her here in the first place. This wasn’t romantic at all. She just couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t any different than helping a friend out on the battlefield, he reasoned in his head.  
He listened closely for her breathing to even out and when he was sure she had drifted off to sleep, he cracked an eye open. He studied her sleeping face, as well as he could in the dark. He wasn’t sure when exactly, but probably since that first night in the medical tent, staring at her face had become something he did ritually after she had fallen asleep. She was so calm when she slept, and her expressions were so relaxed.   
Feeling himself grow drowsy, he let his thoughts wander as he closed his eyes. He considered himself typically a loner, but having her by his side… It wasn’t a bad feeling, he concluded. Even at night, having her in such close proximity, with just a few inches separating them, along with the sensation of her hand holding his.. It felt nice.

  
_'It’s only this once,_' he thought, drifting asleep. _'It's not like nightmares will come to her forever.'_

.

.  
.  
.  
.  
Felix was always an early bird, and when the first few rays of sunlight filtered in through his window, he woke.  
Blinking for a moment, he suddenly realized there was something warm pressed up against the side of his body. His eyes snapped open when he remembered that Bernadetta had slept in his bed that night.  
Which, in itself wasn’t the problem. They’d slept beside each other every night during the march back to Garreg Mach. This was just in his bed rather than on grass and in a tent.   
The real issue for Felix now was that in the middle of the night, she had snuggled closer to him. She was currently nestled comfortably in the crook near his collarbone, snoozing away.  
_‘Shit.’_  
Glancing down at her, careful not to move too much so he would accidentally wake her, he also realized that her night gown had shifted in her sleep and he could see much more of her neckline trailing towards her breasts than he’d ever seen.  
Snapping his eyes back up, he felt his face get warm. God, what was he, some type of pervert? He wouldn’t look. It’s not like it was the first time he’d seen a girl’s cleavage. But for some reason looking at her felt absolutely immoral.  
He had to slip away from her before she woke up, or it would just be embarrassing for both of them, he realized. His heart hammered in his chest. Before he could even decide on how best to disentangle himself from her, someone knocked on his door.  
“Feeeelix! Get up! Let’s get breakfast!”  
_Sylvain._ Felix cursed internally.  
Bernadetta stirred slightly when Sylvain knocked, but remained asleep.  
“Are you awaaaake? I’m hungry…”   
“Yeah, I’m awake… Just-Just give me a second. I’ll meet you there.” Felix called, with Bernadetta still fast asleep on top of him.  
“Are you dressed? Can I come in?” came Sylvain’s muffled voice through the door.  
“No! Don’t- I’m.. I’m not dressed.” Felix couldn’t stop the edge of panic in his voice.  
“Wha…Sheesh, alright. I’ll wait out here.”   
Bernadetta, who was finally starting to wake up, rubbed her eyes. “Feli-“ Felix quickly covered her mouth with his hand and hushed her.  
“Sylvain is right outside my door, so you have to be quiet for a second.” He whispered.  
Bernadetta sleepily nodded, already seemingly dozing back off.  
_‘Jeez, she’s not a morning person at all.’_  
Taking advantage of her grogginess, he disentangled himself from her and slipped out of the bed. He motioned for Bernadetta to lay down when she sleepily blinked at him and the loss of her heat source. Worried that Sylvain might spot her when he cracked open his door to shoo him away, he thew his blanket over Bernadetta. There. Hidden from sight. Mostly.   
Walking over to his door, he cracked it open.  
“Hey. I’ll meet you at the dining hall, okay?” Felix said briskly.   
Sylvain peeked through the crack with narrowed his eyes at him. He tried to push Felix's door open a little wider. Felix pushed back. "I'm not really dressed-"  
“You’re acting weird... Your face is red too. Are you sick?” Sylvain reached out a hand to feel Felix’s forehead, which Felix swatted away.

“I’m fine, now will you go away? I’ll meet you at the the dining hall. Go!”  
“But-“

Before Sylvain could even reply Felix slammed the door on him.  
Felix waited by the door a few moments to make sure he heard Sylvain’s footsteps fade away until he couldn’t hear them anymore.  
Releasing the breath he hand’t realized he’d been holding this whole time, he leaned his head against the door and groaned. What chaos, this early in the morning. He suddenly felt exhausted despite having the best night’s sleep he’d had since before the Battle at Gronder Field.  
Bernadetta, poked her head out from under the blanket, and groggily sat up.  
“Good.. Mornin Felix…” She yawned, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.  
Felix, noticing that her night gown was still slipping off her shoulder, quickly looked away, his ears burning again. He put it on his mental checklist to remind her to ask Ingrid or Mercedes to get her a nightgown that properly fit her.  
“Uh-good morning.” He said, still facing the door.  
“What’s wrong..?” She asked him sleepily.  
“Your…Your nightdress…” There was silence for a moment.  
He heard her gasp and yelp once she realized. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t know…”  
He gave her a moment to fix herself. “Can I turn around yet..?”  
“Y-yes.. I’m sorry…” Her buried her face in her hands, too embarrassed to look at him.  
He scratched the back of his head. “It’s fine. I.. I didn’t see anything.” That was basically true. What’s better is that she didn’t realize that they spent the night basically cuddling. Felix doesn’t think he’s ever ‘cuddled’ with anyone before.  
“I feel like I could die..” Bernadetta said, her muffled voice coming from her face hidden behind her hands.  
“Just be thankful that Sylvain didn’t see you.” Felix walked over and plopped himself on the edge of the bed.  
“Was that him at the door? What did he want?”  
“To get breakfast. I sent him away, so the hallways should be clear, if you needed a chance sneak back down to your room.” He said, staring at the ceiling.  
She nodded. “That’s a good idea.. I’m sorry again.. I didn’t mean to intrude like thi-“  
He waved her apology off. “It’s no problem.” _‘I slept better with you here too’,_ he added in his head. He’s not sure he would ever admit it to anyone, but being preoccupied with watching out for Bernadetta was probably how he’d managed to keep it together. It’s much easier to be okay when you have someone depending on you.  
She pulled herself out of the warmth of his bed, and made her way to his door.

Watching her walk, only wearing her nightgown he suddenly worried about the chance of someone else running into her in the halls. "Wait."

Reaching into his closet, he pulled out a button down shirt. "Throw this over your shoulders. Uh-Just in case if your dress..." He let his voice trail off, pushing the shirt towards her.

She smiled at him. "Thank you. I think this gown is actually from Mercedes. I guess it's a little too.. Um.. Big for me." She giggled, slipping on Felix's shirt.

For some reason, the combination of Bernadetta wearing the too large night gown and his shirt (that was also too big for her) over it made his ears burn again.   
Dispelling distracting thoughts from his head, he eased his door open to make sure the hallway was clear. He nodded towards her and she quickly took off down the hallway, waving at him when she got to the corner.   
With Bernadetta gone, his room suddenly felt much larger and much emptier than it had moments earlier. Throwing himself on his bed, he took a deep breath. His bed even smelled like her.  
_‘What the hell am I thinking?’_ He thought, pressing his hands over his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to go for something sweeter to offset the recent ANGST.... I hope you all enjoyed!  
Edit: The formatting put some.. weird spaces between certain lines that I can't seem to figure out. I don't think it's all that distracting though... >//<


	10. Duty

What was originally just supposed to be a one-time thing quickly evolved into an every-night thing.

After that first night Bernadetta slept in his room, only a mere two days had passed when Felix woke up to the sound of a light knocking on his door in the middle of the night.

And then it happened again the day after that.

And then the next day as well.

And before either of them realized it, Bernadetta was sneaking up to his room every night after everyone had gone to sleep. They fell into a steady routine. In the mornings, Felix would wake up first, and gently try to shake her awake. She was an active sleeper and often moved about throughout the night, so when he woke up in the morning, she was almost always snuggled securely into his side despite always leaving a few inches between them when getting into his bed.

He never complained about it, and even though it flustered him in the beginning she was never aware enough in her groggy morning state to get embarrassed about it. When he would try to wake her up in the morning she would always whine and fall back asleep, cuddling against him in a desperate attempt to squeeze 5 more minutes of sleep out of him until he would mercilessly got out of bed first, taking his precious body heat with him.

When she would grumble about still being sleepy and ask him to get back in the bed he would (as playfully as he could manage) scold her and then tell her to hurry back to her room before other people on the floor woke up and filtered into the hallways. 

Sleeping in his room didn’t necessarily stop her from having nightmares (nor did it stop Felix’s unpleasant dreams; he was just much better at hiding them than she was). Sleeping in the same bed however gave them the added convenience of being instantly reassured when they were visited by unwanted thoughts or nightmares. Felix simply felt better by having her next to him. And on the nights that Bernadetta would snap awake in a cold sweat, weeping incomprehensibly, Felix was already besides her, cradling her against him with a soothing hand on her back.

She had only talked about her dreams with him once, and through her tears all she had said was that she was burning, and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. And while she burned, she heard voices, she had said. The voices of her friends from the Empire. Her father's voice. And with her voice trembling, she even told him that she heard his voice as well. At the time, he just gently pulled her closer to him, resting his chin on her head and he just held her until she fell back asleep. It infuriated him, knowing there were things tormenting her that he couldn't attack with a sword. He could spend the whole day training, but at night, he was helpless to prevent her from seeing the things that terrified her. 

Considering their new sleeping routine; there was nothing particularly romantic about it, Felix thought. It had quickly just grown into a mutual arrangement with benefits for both of them. Sleeping next to her on average gave him better rest than sleeping without her, he had deduced. This, in turn meant he was more productive and energetic with his training. So technically, sleeping together with her was directly benefitting training, he reasoned with himself.

Never mind the fact that his room felt empty whenever she wasn’t there, or how sometimes just looking at her made his heart pound. Or how adorable she looked when he would tease her in the mornings.

_‘God, I’m starting to think like Sylvain,’_ he thought. His head was resting on his hands and he was currently sitting through one of the endless strategy meetings. He idly listened to Ingrid and Dimitri discuss the best ways to enter Fhirdiad, but mostly let his mind wander off, and he wondered what Bernadetta did while he was cooped in these stuffy meetings. 

Bernadetta wasn’t really permitted to attend, as they were usually restricted to those who were in their original house during academy days and had taken up roles as officers or generals amongst the Kingdom troops. Felix always felt annoyed with having to attend them. Surely Sylvain or Ingrid could just give him a quick rundown after the meetings and he could be utilizing this valuable time. 

Another half an hour passed and when they were still sitting around the table, Felix fought the urge to just stand up and walk out of the meeting. Right when Felix thought he was going to die of boredom, a guard burst through the doors.

“Is the young Lord Fraldarius present?”

Felix snapped to attention, addressing the messenger. “Who’s asking?”

“My lord! Your presence is required urgently in Fraldarius territory. There are matters that Lord Rodrigue left unfinished.”

“Now?” Felix crossed his arms. The only thing more annoying than these meetings was probably going back to House Fraldarius to do his dad's paperwork. 

“I am told you will be able to return to the Monastery within the week.” Felix sighed. What an absolute pain. He had figured that something like this was going to come up. It had only been a few weeks since his father passed, and he hadn't yet returned, nor had he officially accepted his claim to House Fraldarius. Part of him was hoping to avoid it for as long as possible.

"You should go, Felix. It's not good to put these things aside for later." Probably noticing Felix's annoyed expression, Dimitri had spoken. Felix didn't need Dimitri to tell him what to do about his own responsibilities. He shrugged it off and turned to the messenger. 

“Alright, I’ll go. Let me get my things.”

.

.

.

Felix headed back to his quarters. It’s not like he needed to pack much of anything, since he was just returning to his family’s estate. Slinging a small bag over his shoulder he decided to go let Bernadetta know he was leaving.

He knocked on her door.

No response.

“Bernadetta?”

When he was met by silence again he noticed that her door was slightly open. He peeked inside. Empty.

_'With my crappy luck, of course it's empty,' _he thought. Leave it to the one time he actually wanted her to be in her room for her to be somewhere else.

Knowing he was running out of time, he thought maybe he could inform someone to tell Bernadetta that he was leaving, but suddenly he felt rather embarrassed.

It would make people suspicious if he did that, wouldn’t it? Discontent, but feeling like there wasn’t much to be done, especially with people waiting on him, he reluctantly started heading to the monastery gates. Bernadetta would be fine, and he was certain someone would tell her he was summoned to House Fraldarius on business. Hopefully.

Casting one last glance back at her door, he jogged off towards the gates of the monastery.

.

.

.

Bernadetta wiped the sweat off her brow as she let another arrow fly from her fingertips.

Bullseye.

That would do it for today training. She knew a battle was coming at the end of the month, and she had been upping the amount of training she did each day. Part of her was scared out of her mind to be returning to the battlefield, especially since she was fighting for the Kingdom this time around. But she was also filled with a determination to get stronger; if only to protect Felix. If she could manage to protect him, then every thing would have been worth it. Everything.

Gathering her things, she quickly shuffled out of the training area before any others arrived for some before-dinner use of the training grounds. Figuring Felix must be out of the war council meeting by then, she decided to drop by and see if he was done. When she found that the room was quiet, she pushed the door open to find only Dimitri was still there.

"Bernadetta?"

"A-Ah, P-Prince Dimitri! I'm sorry to intrude-" She panicked and bowed quickly.

"Please, there's no need for formalities. You may also just call me Dimitri. It also seems we haven't properly spoken since you've joined us. Thank you for being here." He had a friendly smile on his face.

"Ah, um.. It's not problem... Felix saved my life, after all..." Bernadetta still thought he looked scary, but his voice was so gentle, she relaxed a bit.

Dimitri smiled again. "I see. He seems quite fond of you. It's very rare to see him like that."

"H-huh? Oh, really?" She felt her face burn and she laughed nervously.

Dimitri chuckled lightly. "He has a bit of a chip on his shoulder and quite the thick wall he's built up around himself. It's nice to seem him cherish someone."

Now Bernadetta's face felt even hotter. "O-oh, that's right! I actually came here to see Felix.." She decided to quickly move subject onto where he was.

Dimitri looked at her apologetically. "Ah, about that. He was summoned on urgent business to House Fraldarius. I'm afraid he had accounts and business of Lord Rodrigue's to settle."

"So.. He's.. gone?" She blinked.

"I'm afraid so. He should be back within the week, though." Dimitri said.

Bernadetta felt her heart sink as she dipped her head into a quick bow. "Thank you for letting me know." 

As she turned to leave the war council room, Dimitri spoke. "Thank you for taking care of him. I hope you continue to get along with him, despite how difficult he might be."

"U-Uh, sure.." She smiled nervously before ducking out into the hallway.

_'What was that all about? Me taking care of Felix? It's really the other way around... Does Dimitri think Felix and I...?' _Her heart pounded just thinking about it. There was no way.... Besides, they'd been careful that no one saw her sneak back to her room in the morning, so nobody should be suspicious. It's not like anything was actually going on anyway. Bernadetta felt her shoulders sag. Thinking about Felix recently always made her feel like her heart was going to explode, but right now she just felt sad.

_'Dimitri has it all wrong about me and Felix...Besides, he...He left without telling me.. I guess he didn't think he needed to tell me. Or maybe he didn't even think about me.' _She felt depressed already.

_'Oh god, what if I'm just being annoying by spending so much time with him and he's just too kind to me to tell me otherwise?' _It was plausible. Most of the time they spent together was initiated by her, now that she thought about it. 

_'Maybe he secretly hates me, and feels burdened by me.. I knew it.. A person like me has just been weighing him down this whole time!' _Feeling the warning prickle of tears stinging her eyes, she shook the thoughts from her head.

_'Maybe it was silly of me to even entertain the thought of anything more than what we have now. I don't know what he'd even see if a person like me.'_

Too anxious and depressed to eat dinner, she began to head back to her room.

.

.

.

The sun was setting brilliantly over the monastery as Mercedes strolled to the dining hall. She had always loved sunsets at the monastery, and during war time, she learned to appreciate them even more. As Mercedes approached the dining hall, she saw Bernadetta and called out. "Bernie!"

Bernadetta had flinched at being called at suddenly but noticed Mercedes and walked over. "A-Ah! Oh! Hi, Mercedes." Seeing the dejected look on her face, Mercedes was left curious.

_'I wonder if it's because Felix had to leave..'_

Considering Bernadetta usually always ate with Felix when she went to the dining hall, Mercedes figured inviting her to eat might help cheer her up. "Where are you going?" She asked conversationally.

"Oh.. It's nothing. I was just going to go get some rest." Bernadetta shuffled her feet, glancing at the ground.

"But you haven't eaten dinner yet, have you?" Mercedes looked at her questioningly.

"I...I supposed I haven't.." Bernadetta shrugged.

"Come now, that's no way to treat your body! Come eat with me and Annie!" She linked her arm with Bernadetta's, and began tugging her towards the dining hall.

Not taking Bernadetta's weak protests as an answer she managed to get her to a table with her and Annette, where Annette had chatted lively about the garden and a story that Ashe had told her earlier in the day. After they had finished eating, they lingered at the table and chatted amicably. However, Mercedes noticed that Bernadetta barely spoke during their meal, and had pushed her food around her plate. Even now, she was being mostly quiet as Annette buzzed through conversation. 

"So~ Bernie! Tell us about Felix!" Annette whipped her attention to Bernadetta.

"I'm also quite curious. He seems to like you, a lot." Mercedes smiled. Maybe talking about Felix would cheer her up.

"What? No! I m-mean-" Bernadetta's face got pink. 

"Yeah! He seems so gentle with you. He barely even yells or snaps at you, and that's rare even if you're friends with him!" Annette said, thoughtfully.

"He doesn't really do that, does he?" Bernadetta tilted her head, almost confused.

"He sure does! He really lets Sylvain have it all the time. You can't even _tell_ they're best friends." Annette continued. 

"Well, I think that's a little different.." Mercedes said, giggling. 

"And with most everyone else he doesn't even give us the time of day really. He's usually just zooming around between the council room, or the training ground, or with you." Annette said. 

Bernadetta groaned suddenly and put her head down on the table. Thinking about Felix suddenly made her heart hurt. 

"What's wrong?" Mercedes rested a hand on Bernadetta's head. "I can tell somethings bothering you, and I have a feeling its a little more than Felix not being here."

"Well-That's the thing. It's that. He left today... And he didn't tell me." Bernadetta sighed. "Which is f-fine, by the way!" She added quickly. "It's just that.. It made me think that maybe I was the one pressuring him to spend time with me, and by being.. How I am, I suppose, he felt burdened to take care of me all the time. And he's just too nice to tell me otherwise. And then he left today without telling me.. Sometime I wonder if he's annoyed with me being around him all the time." She put her head back down on the table and sighed. 

Annette and Mercedes glanced at each other before bursting out in giggles.

"Bernie, I'm sooo sorry for laughing but," Annete held back another giggle. "You've got it totally wrong! Felix was basically kidnapped and taken to Fraldarius territory to settle his father's accounts! They basically rushed into the war council meeting and took him away! This wasn't a planned trip; I'm sure he would have told you if he had time!"

"Huh?" She perked up. 

"Also don't worry about Felix being burdened with you. Something tells me he enjoys being with you just as much as you enjoy being with him." Mercedes smiled gently patted Bernadetta on the head affectionately. 

Bernadetta hummed thoughtfully. She began to feel a little better. Maybe Felix did enjoy being with her. "You might be right. He _does_ get pretty cuddly sometimes."

Annette choked on her drink. "You-Wait..You _cuddle _with Felix?!"

Bernadetta gasped and quickly covered her face. "F-f-forget I said anything!"

"Wait! You can't just say something like that and- Hey! Where are you going?"

"I reeeeeeally should be going, um, dinner was fun! See you both later!" Bernadetta had quickly grabbed her satchel and sped away from the table, leaving Annette gaping at her retreating figure sprinting out the dining hall. 

When she was out of sight Annette turned to Mercedes. "Mercie, can you believe it?! She said Felix was cuddly- which means they've had to have cuddled before at LEAST twice! Cuddling! With Felix! I can't even imagine it! Hey-You don't even look surprised, actually...."

Mercedes hummed. "Well, I don't think I told you, but... That first night Felix brought her back, they both slept in the medical tent.. I dropped into check on her burns after I made the rounds around camp, but they were both fast asleep, holding hands. So I think I figured something was going on from the very start."

"Gosh.. He must have it bad for her... Its soooo romantic! I wonder if he liked her back in the academy, and that's why he saved her at Gronder Field?" Annette mused aloud.

"That could very well be the case. It would have been tragic if things had turned out differently for them. For right now, let's just make sure she's not lonely until Felix comes back. I'm sure he must be worried about leaving her as well." 

.

.

.

It would be 4 days later when Felix returned. He had rushed through all the paper work and document signing as quickly as he could. Officially taking his role as the new head of House Fraldarius had proved to be as much of a pain as he thought it would. When the matter of inheritances and his father’s accounts settled as well as courtesy visits to other stuffy nobles out of the way, he hurried back to Garreg Mach, not giving a damn if it made a bad impression.

The past 4 nights of restless sleep only served to make him more irritable towards everyone and he had been lashing out at the nobles and house staff the entire time. He worried about Bernadetta, and whether she was eating okay or sleeping well. A part of him also felt foolish for being as concerned about her as he was, but that couldn't be helped. 

When he had finally arrived back at the monastery, he was greeted by Sylvain, who was in the marketplace chatting up a merchant. Waving, Sylvain had jogged over and greeted him. “Felix~ You’re back! That was much quicker than I thought it would be! You must be hungry after traveling all day. Wanna get dinner?”

Felix brushed him off. “Not particularly.”

“Whaat.. Busy already?” Sylvain whined.

“Yes.”

Sylvain eyed him suspiciously. "Ah, going to see Bernadetta, are we? I can't blame you, I would want to visit my girlfriend as soon as I came home too-"

"Shut up, stupid. The nonsense that comes out of your mouth never ceases." Felix pushed past him, clearly annoyed with his remark. But, he didn't exactly deny that he was going to see Bernadetta either, Sylvain thought, grinning. 

.

.

.

Pacing outside of Bernadetta's door, Felix wondered if he should get it over with and knock. It had been 4 days since he last saw her. Had she been upset? Was she lonely? Feeling silly, he decided to just get it over with so things could go back to normal. He wanted to see her, anyway.

“Bernadetta? Are you there? Its Fe-"

Before he could even finish his sentence her door swung open and she threw herself at him in a flying hug. Stunned, he was thrown off guard and stumbled backwards, taking both of them down, and they landed in the grass with a thud.

She buried her face in his chest. “You're finally home!” 

Wincing from being knocked over so suddenly, all he could manage in response is "Yeah, I'm...back."

_"I'm sorry for leaving without telling you. I won't do it again,", _Was what he wanted to say, but his face felt warm just thinking about saying something like that.

"I'm uh.." he began, not sure of what exactly to say, and he noticed that she was crying on him. 

"M-Mercedes and Dimitri told me you had to go back to Fraldarius territory to do business. I was so w-worried..." She rested her head on his chest and tightened her grip on him. 

"Geez, you don't need to cry like that." he said as he slowly returned the hug, wrapping his arms around around her."I won't leave again like that without telling you." he said, so quietly he wasn't even sure if she could hear him.

After a moment of silence, she turned her head up so she could look at him. 

Her face was still splotchy from crying but Felix thought she looked at as adorable as ever.

"Felix.. If I'm annoying, you would tell me right? You don't need to preten-"

"Shut up already." he said, pulling her closer. He wasn't the best at communicating but he hoped she understood.

She relaxed into his hold, and her sniffling began to stop.

After a few seconds, Felix suddenly felt hyper aware that they were outside on the grass outside of the dormitories and quickly pulled away from her. "We should get up. There's people around." he said briskly. 

"Oh heh, I guess we're outside. Sorry..." she laughed nervously. They both stood up and shook the loose blades of grass from their clothes. 

"You're such a crybaby. I was only gone for 4 days." He poked her cheek as he said this and she pouted at him. 

"It was really scary and lonely! But Mercedes and Annette spent a lot of time with me..." She said wiping her face with her sleeve.

Felix made a mental note to thank Mercedes and Annette somehow.

"You were fine, though. You've really grown up." He smiled at her. 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" She put her hands on her hips and pouted at him again. 

He smirked at her. "Nothing. Let's get dinner. I'm starving." He said, grabbing her hand and starting towards the dining hall.

With her hand in his as they walked through the warm light of the monastery at sunset, there was only one thought in his head.

_'I'm home.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the update~! College dumped a ton of work on me this week so I couldn't get around to posting this until today. And this time around I actually wanted some opinions from you guys. I was thinking of upping the rating and putting ~spicier~ content in later chapters, but I don't want to alienate or make any readers uncomfortable with a sudden rating change. Would you guys prefer those chapters to be posted separately (as their own fic) or would you mind if I changed the rating and included them in this story? I would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks as always for reading and see you for next update!


	11. Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm so sorry for the long gap between this chapter and the previous one.. School is destroying me right now but felibern keeps me strong.. This chapter takes place right before chapter 18! Enjoy!

Things were abuzz around the monastery. The next day the troops were scheduled to reclaim the capital of Fhirdiad. People were rushing around, making final preparations, assorting rations, weapons, and supplies, as well as organizing battalions. 

Felix, who had just finished his training for the day, headed out from the training grounds. He took it easier than usual today; it wouldn't do him any good to be sore tomorrow. Amidst all the buzz around the monastery, he found himself with free time. 

He had already finished his battle preparations and had already made arrangements with the battalion he was commanding. He had also somewhat forcefully insisted that Bernadetta be counted amongst the troops he was leading, despite initial protests that she was a talented archer and general who could potentially lead her own battalion. While he knew this to be true, he just didn’t want her somewhere on the battlefield where he couldn’t protect her if something happened. At the strategy meeting though, perhaps due to the fact that Felix actually spoke out for once, Dimitri had surprisingly quickly agreed that maybe it was best for Bernadetta to be with Felix on the battlefield.

_‘Besides, she would probably go off and get herself killed if I left her alone.’_ he thought.

Deciding to go see her, he headed for her room but was surprised to see her actually outside with Mercedes, Annette, and Ingrid.

“Felix!”

Bernadetta, having noticed Felix, broke apart from the other girls and jogged towards him. “How was your training?”

He shrugged. “It was the same as usual. Besides that, what are you all doing?” It was quite rare to see all of the girls together. He vaguely wondered if something had happened.

“Oh! Annette said we should all go into town-“ Bernadetta began, but she was cut off by Annette, who had also run over.

“That’s right! And no boys allowed, Felix! This is girl time! You can’t keep hogging Bernie to yourself!” Annette linked arms with Bernadetta.

“I’m not hogg-“ Felix protested, but he was cut off by Ingrid who also had walked over.

“Annette, you’re embarrassing him. Hi, Felix.” She looked as if she was being dragged out to town against her will by Annette.

Scoffing, he turned away. “I’m not embarrassed. This is stupid. Do whatever you want.” He began to walk away. If Bernadetta was busy, he’d just find something else to do.

Before he got too far, he heard someone sprinting behind him. When he turned around suddenly she crashed into his chest.

“Ah-! I’m sorry.” she said, apologizing for running into him. “I wasn’t expecting you to turn around so suddenly…”

Felix tilted his head at her. “Aren’t you going to town with the others?”

She shuffled her feet. “Yes, b-but.. I wanted to say good bye first..”

Seeing the light pink across her cheeks and fact that she chased after him just to say good bye almost made his heart physically stop. She was too damnably adorable. Keeping his cool attitude he rested a gentle hand on her head. “Be safe in town, okay? Stay close to Ingrid and the others.”

Beaming at him, she nodded. “I will!”

Waving her off as she ran back towards the other girls, he watched them as they disappeared out of sight.

He knew Bernadetta had trouble going into places like town, but he figured she would be fine as long as she was with the other girls.

Maybe once they returned from the next battle, he would take her into town himself.

.

.

.

.

.

“Sorry to make you all wait…” Bernadetta huffed as she sprinted back to the other girls.

“It’s okay, you just wanted to make sure he wasn’t upset, right?” Mercedes smiled gently at her.

“H-huh? I mean, I guess…” Bernadetta felt her face get warm.

“That’s so cute!! He really likes you.” Annette said clasping her hands together.

“Ahhh! Please stop... This is too embarrassing.. I don’t think he thinks like that…” Bernadetta covered her face with her hands.

Ingrid tapped her chin. “I think it’s even safe to say he loves you, at this point.” She said thoughtfully.

Bernadetta almost fainted.

“Whoa, Ingrid! You almost knocked her out with that one!” Annette said, supporting Bernadetta who was slumped over on her.

Bernadetta, her face completely red, managed to squeak out a response. “W-w-w-what gives you that idea?”

“I’ve known Felix my whole life, and trust me, I’ve never seen him as enamored with anyone as he is with you.” Ingrid said. And it was true. He’d never shown much of an interest in anyone to the degree that he had with Bernadetta.

Ingrid even thought of how often she’d seen him smile in the girl’s presence. His smiles had all but vanished after the tragedy of Duscur, but it seemed like with Bernadetta, he almost couldn’t hide the soft smile that would appear when they talked. Ingrid knew he thought he was being sneaky, or that he was hiding his feelings well, but it really was heartwarming to see him so happy.

Bernadetta sighed. “Everyone keeps saying that.. but.. He’s never said anything like that to me..”

Annette laughed. “Well, duh! It’s Felix! I think he’d rather die than say anything nice. Although watching him talk to you makes me think he’s changed quite a bit."

Mercedes nodded in agreement. “Besides, I think nowadaysit doesn’t have to be Felix’s responsibility to confess first. You can always say something too, you know!”

Bernadetta felt her face burn again just at the thought. “I can’t! It’s impossible! I’d die!!” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt.”Besides.. What if he doesn’t..”

Annette stopped her train of thought with an extended hand. “I’m gonna cut you off right there, Bernie. There’s absolutely no way that's possible.“

Bernadetta sighed. It all sounded so easy when they said it, but in reality she figured she wouldn’t be able to say it to his face. Especially since there was always the chance that he didn’t feel the same way. And then she would just ruin everything between them.

With the other girls chatting amicably about walking to town, she tailed behind them, her mind cluttered with thoughts about Felix. 

_'What am I supposed to even do?'_

.

.

.

.

.

With Bernadetta gone and his afternoon suddenly empty, Felix found himself down by the fishing spot. The cats who usually hung about got excited upon seeing him, and rushed over to rub against his legs.

“Sorry, no food today. Bernadetta’s out to town with the other girls.” He said, reaching down to scratch one behind the ears. He suddenly felt rather foolish. Talking to the cats now? Bernadetta’s behavior must be contagious.

Plopping himself down on the ground he spent a while with cats. While they seemed moderately disappointed in his lack of food, they still hovered around him.

“Well color me surprised. I didn’t think I’d ever find you down here chatting up cats.”

Felix didn’t even have to turn around to know the voice that broke the calm was Sylvain.

He sighed. “What is it now?”

“Well its the day before we take off for a huge battle and all the girls up and decided to go into town. There’s no one around to talk to.” Sylvain said, plunking himself down on the ground next to Felix, and scaring away the cats.

“So you came looking for me?”

Sylvain clapped a hand on Felix’s shoulder. “But of course! We’re best friends, and we haven’t had a decent conversation in almost a month.”

“Hm.”

“Besides, with all the girls in town I’m dying to know what they’re gossiping about. When you put a bunch of girls like that together, they’re almost most definitely talking about the people they like.”

“Really?” Felix hadn’t really given much thought to what it was that girls talked about when they were together.

Sylvain nodded. “Oh yeah. That’s all girls do. Right about now they’re probably even in town looking at cute guys and girls and chatting away about them.”

Felix thought about it for a second. For some reason the idea of Bernadetta checking out strangers made him feel slightly… uncomfortable.

“What’s with that expression?” Sylvain stared at him.

“Nothing.”

Sylvain shrugged and continued on. “Well, how about we have our own guy's night? We haven’t hung out in forever.”

Felix sighed. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Don’t get grumpy on me just because your girlfriend is out of town!” Sylvain whined.

Felix scowled. “Bernadetta is NOT my girlfriend.”

In response, Sylvain smirked mischievously. “I didn’t even say her name that time! That means you were definitely thinking about her when I said girlfriend.”

_'Shit.'_

“This is stupid.” Feeling like he had been tricked, Felix grabbed his bag and started to get up.

Sylvain grabbed his arm. “Wait, wait. It was a joke! I’m serious, I want to hang out with you. We have a battle tomorrow, anyway. If I die, you’ll totally regret not hanging out with me right now.” Sylvain was making a pouting face.

As much as Felix wanted to punch him, he couldn’t argue with his logic.

Resigning himself to his fate, he sat back down next to Sylvain. “Fine. What is it you want to talk about so badly?”

Sylvain, pleased that he had gotten Felix to stick around, grinned at him. “Girls! Felix, you’re basically going out with Bernadetta. Have you even told her you liked her yet?”

_'Was it really that obvious to everyone?'_

“I don’t like her like that.” Felix said, maintaining his cool. Getting mad would just give himself away even more.

Sylvain looked at him knowingly. “C’mon. I think we’re past the point of pretending you don’t like her like that. I heard from one of the soldiers that she was all over you on the grass outside the dormitories after you came back from Fraldarius territory.”

“_She_ was the one that tackled me!” Felix protested quickly.

Sylvain laughed. “Mhmm.. Tiny details like that aren’t important. Anyway, are you going to ask her to get married?”

Felix’s mind blanked. “What?”

Sylvain laughed again. “_Marriage_. Ever heard of it?”

“Don’t be stupid. I just… Never thought about myself getting married.” In Felix’s mind marriage was something that always seemed so far away, and something he’d do if only to stop the nagging from his father and other nobles to carry on his family’s name. It wasn’t something he had ever considered doing because he wanted to. 

Sylvain hummed. “Okay then. Let’s say the war ended right now. What would you do?”

Felix thought about it for a second.

“I have no interest in becoming a sedentary, dusty, old noble. I’d probably want to travel and hone my skills as a swordsman. Probably do mercenary work to pay for things.” That seemed like an ideal future. Seeking out greater heights and becoming a better swordsman was what he wanted to do, after all.

“Yeah, but aren’t you missing one crucial piece?” Sylvain asked.

Felix looked at him, confused. “What piece?”

“Bernadetta! Where is she going to go? Are you planning on dragging her around the continent while you slice open bandits for the rest of your life?” Sylvain sounded almost exasperated with him.

Felix was quiet for another moment. He had never really thought about what would become of himself and Bernadetta after the war. Of course he didn’t plan on just abandoning her after the war ended. He had hoped that maybe she could take up a peaceful residence in Fhirdiad or something. But suddenly the thought of going their separate ways after the war didn’t appeal to him. He remembered how she had cried after he left for just 4 days to Fraldarius territory.

“No.. She.. She wouldn’t like that.” He concluded.

“So you’re gonna leave her behind?”

“No!” Felix responded just a little too quickly. “I mean.. She can’t be left alone.”

_‘She needs me.’_ he thought.

“So what are you going to do?”

Felix fell silent.

When Felix didn’t respond, Sylvain went on. “Well, I suppose some other noble can just swoop in and marry her. She’s rather cute, after all. And she was one of the former Imperial officers as well as the current heir to House Varley. I’m sure just about anyone would want to marry her. Hell, I would even want to marry he-“

“Don’t finish that sentence if you know what’s good for you.”

Sylvain felt the venom in Felix’s tone and decided to push his buttons a little more.

“Or what? It’s as you said, right? You don’t like her.”

Felix felt anger well up inside of him, but restrained himself. Part of him knew exactly what Sylvain was trying to get him to think about. Deciding he needed to be alone for a while, he got up. “I’m leaving.”

As Felix walked away, Sylvain watched him go, and chuckled to himself. It was almost entertaining watching him grapple with feelings that were so apparent to everyone else.

.

.

.

.

After having gotten dinner by himself, Felix noticed the sun was almost setting. It was getting late and he was sure the girls hadn’t returned from their trip into town. Felix also tried to avoid what Sylvain had said earlier. Was marrying Bernadetta even a thing he could do? Wasn’t it far too early to even think about things like that? They weren’t even courting each other. As far as he knew she might just be reliant on him because he saved her. He had no idea if she actually _‘liked’_ him or not. He began to feel like a silly teenage boy with a crush. It felt horrible.

As it got darker out, he began to worry. The girls definitely weren’t back yet. It was dangerous at night; maybe something had happened?

After pacing about for a moment, he decided to head to the the front gates of the monastery. If the girls weren’t back by nightfall, he would go look for them.

As he leaned against a wall near the gate and waited for them, his mind wandered back to Bernadetta, as he so frequently did nowadays. When exactly had she occupied most of his thoughts? Why was she the only thing he could think about? Even now, he was waiting by the front gates of the monastery just because she hadn’t returned home yet.

He decided to pinpoint when exactly his feelings for her even appeared in the first place.

_'When did it start?_ ' he wondered idly. It didn’t feel as though anything had suddenly flipped like a switch.

He had no prior experience with falling in love, but he sort of expected to feel it all at once, and not as something that felt like it had always been a part of him, and by extension losing it would be unbearable. Was this what love was like?

Thinking back, he was sure it didn’t begin at Gronder Field, because even before then, in the 5 years that they were apart, he still found his mind drifting back to the girl he had made laugh on the Goddess Tower balcony the night of the ball.

Suddenly it clicked for him. The night of the ball when they were students still! The night they had talked for hours while everyone else danced. That was the night that she took up residence in his mind, and even after the invasion of Garreg Mach.

Bernadetta coming back with him after the battle of Gronder Field had only intensified things. He was addicted to her. Sleeping with her and waking up with her in his arms, her face beaming at him when a cat would eat from her palm, and even just spending lazy afternoons in the library with her all had become irreplaceable memories to him. When had he become so damn sentimental?

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice the girls entering through the gates.

Seeing Felix leaned against the wall, Bernadetta had bounded over. “Felix!”

Snapped out of his thoughts, he waved as she ran over. 

“Were you waiting here for us?” She smiled at him.

He shrugged. “It got late. I thought you guys might have been held up by something.” He wasn’t about to tell her he was too worried to do anything else.

She nodded. “Ah, I suppose we spent a little too long in town..But that aside, I have so much to tell you! I went to town and I only got scared a little bit one time and I even bought something from a shopkeeper!”

Felix hid an amused smile behind his hand. “Oh yeah? What did you buy?”

“This artist created the most wonderful flower pins! They aren’t real flowers but they were still so beautiful...” She fished it out of her bag and held it out to him.

He studied it carefully in the dim light. It definitely wasn’t a real flower, but it certainly appeared well made. It was a light purple, and it reminded him of Bernadetta instantly.

He nodded. “You picked a good one.”

“I’m glad you think so, because um.. I b-bought it for you…” She hid her face in her hands as she said this, suddenly embarrassed.

“For.. me?” Felix’s mind blanked again.

“Yes.. See, you can pin it onto your jacket like this-“ She shyly took the flower from him and gently pinned it to the front flap of his jacket. “There!” 

He suddenly felt like his chest was about to explode. How could one person be so precious? He felt like punching a hole in a wall.

Maintaining his composure because he knew the other girls were nearby, he put a hand on her head. “Thank you for buying it for me. I’ve.. uh.. never had anything like this.” He felt like his face burning suddenly. He thanked the Goddess that it was night time.

Suddenly feeling the piercing gazes of Mercedes, Ingrid, and Annette on them, he turned away.

‘_Shit. Did they see me? Is my face red?’_

“A-anyway. I’m going back to the dorms. I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest for the battle.” He waved her off.

Knowing that he was lying because he would see her as soon as everyone else retired to their rooms, Bernadetta giggled. “See you tomorrow, then.”

As Felix left her and walked back to his room, he couldn't keep the soft smile off of his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! With every update... we get closer to the inevitable Confession.... I'm excited.... Side note: does anyone else think it's adorable that they have only a 9cm height difference post timeskip? I'm melting..


	12. Schism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Over 100 kudos! I know that may not seem like a lot to some people, but for this little rarepair I'm so happy! I wanted to apologize again for this chapter being so late, and with the way school is going I'm going to strive to update at least once a week moving forward. I also feel like I've been seeing more felibern art on twitter lately so it motivates me to get chapters out. This update takes place during Ch.18 of the Blue Lions route, in the capital city of Faerghus. Enjoy!

Felix grunted as he cut down the soldier in front of him. Another one. The battle was proceeding as well as it could, he assumed. Huge metal contraptions had appeared in the middle of the city, but with everyone’s concentrated efforts they had managed to topple them. All that was left now was to clear path clean through the city and secure the area.

Seeing the main forces charging behind Dimitri, Felix had gestured for his troops to move through the alleyways to support from the sides.  
Going into battle with Bernadetta was different than anything he had ever experienced. There was an oddly comforting feeling in knowing that she was always watching his blind spot. He had always thought he fought better on the battlefield alone, even taking a battalion into battles used to annoy him sorely. But as he cut his way through the streets of Faerghus and watched another man fall from her another careful shot of her bow, he figured he wouldn’t go into battle any other way after this.  
Despite their differences in weapons, their respective fighting styles meshed well together on the battlefield, and he was able to go all out without the fear of anyone sneaking up on him. He took extra care to make sure no enemies escaped him unscathed; he absolutely couldn’t risk the odd soldier getting past him and potentially attacking Bernadetta.  
They had worked their way through most of the city, and Felix figured the battle should be wrapping up soon. He signaled for his battalion to stop for a moment to catch their breath.  
In this moment of respite, Felix turned to Bernadetta.  
“You holding up okay?” he asked, wiping beads of sweat off his forehead.  
She nodded in response, but her hands were trembling. Was she afraid?  
Felix felt concerned suddenly. “You sure you’re okay? The battle should be almost done, it’s basically a sure victory for us at this point. The hard part is over.” He wasn't sure of his words exactly, but at the moment he just wanted to reassure her somehow. It wasn't as though he could just hold her in the middle of the battlefield.   
She shook her head. “N-no. I’m fine. It’s just the adrenaline.. I can’t be calm on the battlefield. There’s no room to relax.” Her hands tightened around her bow.  
Felix shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. It’s only a little further now. Just…Stay close to me.”  
She nodded again, a determined look on her face, keeping an arrow at the ready as they progressed through the city.  
Felix was actually pleased that his battalion had seen minimal losses throughout the whole battle. Their morale was also high and they had easily secured sections of the city as they moved.   
Things were going almost a little too perfectly, Felix thought when he heard a familiar shriek. Whirling around, he saw an assassin had dove out from between some buildings and targeted Bernadetta.  
_‘How did I miss him!?’_  
Feeling as if everything was moving in slow motion, Felix dashed forward and lunged to put himself between the man and Bernadetta, inhaling quickly as he felt the man’s sword cut through him. With the moment that it bought Bernadetta, she shot an arrow into the assassin’s neck, and he coughed up blood before crumpling to the ground.  
“Felix! Oh my god. Felix!” he heard her panicked voice yell.  
Felix, who had stumbled to the ground, dizzy from the sudden blood loss, felt pain roar through his abdomen. “Ngh… I’m..fine..” he choked out.   
Rushing to his side, she quickly rested him on his back.

After fishing through her pack and realizing neither of them had any concoctions left, she cursed. If Felix wasn’t bleeding out at that moment, he might have taken the opportunity to remark it was the first time he’d heard her curse.  
“We’re gonna get you help, okay? Just k-keep your eyes open, okay?” her alarmed voice was trembling.  
Felix heard her quickly bark orders at a nearby soldier to get a cleric. She then pushed her hands on his wound, putting pressure on it.  
Felix winced.  
“I know this hurts and I’m sorry but just s-stay with me, okay? I need...I need to s-stop the bleeding..” His blood seeped through her fingers, and she could barely see through the tears streaming down her face.  
Felix felt his mind go a bit cloudy from losing so much blood. Was the wound really that deep? For some reason he felt strangely calm. Even the searing pain in his abdomen was beginning to subside. He never expected to be cut down on the battlefield like this, but perhaps it wasn’t too bad. He would much rather it be himself than Bernadetta at the end of a blade. Reaching a hand up to stroke her cheek, he felt his eyes flutter. “You don’t have to.. cry…”  
“Felix! D-don’t.. Don’t die.. You can’t die… Help is coming, so just.. D..Don’t die..” She choked back sobs as she spoke, and Felix felt the drops of her tears when they ran off her face onto him. Her voice felt oddly distant now, as if she were far away.

Felix knew better though. He could still feel her warmth. She was right here.  
His hand fell from her cheek to the ground, and he felt his consciousness waver.  
_‘I never wanted to make you cry, but I guess I’ve gone and messed up again.’_ As he drifted off, her voice seemed to get quieter and quieter.

Darkness enveloped him, and even the throbbing pain of his wound began to feel very far away. He only felt the warmth from her hands pressing down on his abdomen now. 

.

.

.

_“Y-you can’t die! I… I love you.. I love you so much…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;w; IM SORRY


	13. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Midterms destroyed me... I hope this chapter will make up for it being so late... Enjoy!

It was surprisingly warm.

That was the first thing Felix noticed. Blinking, he took in his surroundings.

Where the hell was he?

It faintly looked like the fields in Fraldarius territory, where he played with Sylvain, Dimitri, and Ingrid as a child. But that couldn’t be right- it had always been cold up there. There could be no way.

Squinting, he noticed a silhouette in the distance. _No… Two silhouettes?_ Approaching them, he struggled to make out who they were. They were barely visible, and sometimes they shimmered as though they weren’t actually there.

Picking up his pace, he became more interested in seeing who they were. Maybe they would have some answers as to where he was.

Squinting, Felix began get a better view of the two figures and with a quick gasp,he stopped dead in his tracks.

_‘Glenn..? Father?’_

Any semblance of self-control gone, he began sprinting towards them.

_‘Even if you’re fake. Even if you aren’t real…Is it even possible?’_

He felt like a bloody hypocrite in that moment, running through the field to see two men he knew were dead. The more he ran, he realized he wasn’t getting any closer. They always stayed at the edge of his vision.

Frustrated, he sunk to his knees and slammed a fist onto the ground.

“What’s this? Getting upset already?” Felix heard a voice he thought he had long forgotten.

“Glenn! Don’t tease your younger brother.” Another painfully familiar voice. One that he had convinced himself he hated.

“I guess you’re right. Sorry, Father. Go on, Felix. Get out of here. Don’t you have someone waiting for you? I don’t want to see you around here, at least not for another 50 years, got it?”

Before he could look up, Felix felt as though he was suddenly yanked away and jolted upright into an unfamiliar room.

_‘A dream?’_

Noticing instantly that his cheeks were damp, he quickly wiped his face on his sleeve. 

He glanced at where the light was coming from. Bright sunlight filtered in through the windows, and Felix realized he was probably in an infirmary. Probably the one in Fhirdiad. Blinking groggily, he felt a dull, throbbing pain from his abdomen.

_‘That’s right.. I guess I survived…’_

He almost jumped when he noticed Bernadetta leaned over the foot of his bed, asleep. Had she stayed by his bedside the entire time? Felix felt a pang of guilt. He had never intended to cause her to worry like that. How long has he been out?

He felt like absolute shit, but it was better than being dead, he thought. His hair was loose, and he was dressed in a simple white shirt and pants, probably the standard issue for the infirmary.

Pulling himself into a better sitting position, Bernadetta stirred in her sleep when she felt him shift on the bed. Groggily blinking she lifted her head up, and snapped to attention when she saw him sitting up. “Y-you’re awake!”

“Yea-“ Was all he could get out before she threw her arms around his neck.

“I-I thought you were gonna d-die.. I was s-so scared..” She cried onto him, and he felt her tears wetting his shirt. 

Felix winced as he felt his wound ache from the sudden pressure of Bernadetta on top of him but he gently wrapped his arms around her and gave her a light squeeze. He held her until her crying subdued into little sniffles and he gently peeled her away from his chest so he could talk to her.

“Could you tell me what happened?” he asked, and realized his voice sounded horribly hoarse.

Wiping her face on her sleeve, she nodded.

“Y-you took the blow meant for me.. You lost a lot of blood.. I called for help and Ingrid brought Mercedes over on her pegasus, but the healing she could do was pretty limited because of how much blood you lost. She temporarily patched you up and we brought you to this infirmary. You’ve been sleeping for almost more than a day…. Even with magic, it looks like it might take another couple days before you make a complete recovery…” Bernadetta managed to relay the details to him, her voice trembling as her hand still clutched his shirt.

“I see.” It had basically lined up with his understanding of events until he had passed out. He remembered her panicked voice, her hands covered in his blood and her stressed sobbing over him. He never wanted to see her like that again, he thought grimly.

He pulled her back into a gentle hug, and he just cherished the feeling of her, alive and warm against him.

_‘Glenn’s right. There's no way I can go dying just yet. Not when I have someone to protect.’_

It was then that he remembered his conversation with Sylvain. Now that he had almost died, it was suddenly painfully clear to him that either of them could die at any moment. But just how exactly was he supposed to even tell her? Sylvain confessed to a girl almost every day so of course he did it easily. Felix wasn’t even sure of where to begin. Part of him felt annoyed that confessing was even a thing.

Wait.

_Wait._

He remembered something else.

Right before he lot consciousness, had she told him she loved him? Or had he been hallucinating from blood loss?

_No._

That couldn’t be it. He was sure he heard her.

Bernadetta pulled away from him. “Felix? Are you alright? You’re not getting a fever are you?” Bernadetta’s concerned voice broke into his thoughts as she pressed a cold hand to his forehead.

She gasped. “You’re warm! And you’re face is flushed.. I hope you haven’t picked up an illness…Maybe I should get Mercedes..” As she was pulling her hand away from his forehead, Felix grabbed it.

“Wait.” His voice was quiet.

“H-huh?” she squeaked, perhaps startled by his sudden movement.

“Before I fainted on the battlefield. You told me something. I didn’t forget it.” He brought her hand to his lips and gently pressed his lips against her knuckles.

Her face turned a bright pink “Wha-“

Deciding to just go for it, Felix continued. “You told me you loved me.”

There was silence for a moment as she took in what he said.

Her eyes widened and she began stammering. “I-I have to go! I just remembered I’m h-helping out in the stables!”

Before he could tighten his hold on her hand, she quickly pulled her hand out of his and dashed out of the room with impressive speed.

_‘Dammit..’_

He had wanted to talk to her more. The room felt suddenly much colder and lonelier without her there. Felix sighed and threw himself back down onto his pillow. He’d have to wait until she came back or until he got well enough to get out of bed. He should have figured she might try to dash away. He chuckled at himself.

_‘Father.. Glenn. You two are probably laughing at me right now, aren’t you?’_

.

.

.

.

The next day Bernadetta returned to the infirmary to visit him, but she was clever about it. Knowing that Felix wouldn’t dare to bring up anything about her battlefield confession in the presence of others, she limited her time in his room to when others came to visit.

Felix felt himself get annoyed that he could only ever see her when either Sylvain, Mercedes or others were in the room, because it was getting almost unbearable for him. He wanted to hurry and respond but he would rather die than tell Bernadetta he liked her with Sylvain in the room.

Not to mention he had been sleeping alone for the past two nights, which also served to irritate him. He supposed it couldn’t be helped, as he wasn’t sure they would even be able to get away with Bernadetta sleeping in his infirmary bed anyway. Perhaps it was for the best that she was avoiding him.

It was 4 days after the battle when Mercedes said he could finally be discharged.

“You’re in top form! A few days of regular training should get you back to your normal self.” She nodded as she inspected the wound on his abdomen, which had faded to a faint pink line.

Pulling on his shirt, he bowed his head at her. “Thanks, Mercedes." He paused, hesitating. Deciding to just ask her, he continued. "Do you.. Do you know where Bernadetta is?”

Mercedes giggled knowingly. “She’s helping with the post battle reconstruction efforts.”

“She’s doing construction work?” Felix blinked in disbelief.

Mercedes giggled again and shook her head again. “No no, I believe she’s doing food distribution in the town center for the volunteers. She’s quite talented with cooking.”

Felix pulled on his overcoat and nodded. “Thanks.”

As he was making for the door, Mercedes called out for him. “And Felix?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t be too forceful when you tell her you like her. She’ll run off again.” Mercedes winked at him.

Feeling his ears burn immediately and he turned away from her. “What are you even talking about?” He scoffed.

She just giggled and waved him off in response.

Leaving the infirmary he shook it off. ‘_Whatever, it’s not like it matters that other people know. Have I been that obvious?’_

All he knew now was that he had to tell Bernadetta. It had taken getting cut open on the battlefield to make him realize life was entirely far too short for him to continue going on without letting Bernadetta know how important she was.

Approaching the town square, he saw her ladling out portions of soup for a line of men.

However, she noticed him before he could get close and dropped her ladle suddenly and ducked out of the tent, to the confusion of the men in line. 

Felix sighed. _‘…Really? She’s going to run?’_ He shook his head in disbelief before grinning to himself.

_‘I guess I’m up for a challenge. I could use a workout.’_

He took off in the direction that she ran. It was definitely better to just chase her down and tell her rather than letting her continue to panic about her confession, Felix thought.

Normally, he could probably outrun her, he mused as he chased after her. But after getting cut open and spending half a week in the infirmary, he wasn’t quite sure anymore.

Running away from him, she squealed. “Please ignore what I said!!!“

“Bernadetta! Will you stop running for just a second?” He heaved behind her. She just yelped and continued running in response. 

Continuing their chase throughout a now bustling Fhirdiad, Felix began to feel almost impressed. She had surprising stamina for an archer. But then again, he had always known she was capable of incredible things. He’d seen her unarm huge opponents of their swords at close range.

Knowing he was nearing his limit, he decided to end their chase. He lunged forward and managed to grab ahold of her wrist, and pulled both of them to a stop after a sold 10 minutes of sprinting through Fhirdiad. Both of them didn’t speak for a minute and just stood there wheezing as they tried to catch their breath.

“God.. you.. really… had me…chasing you… throughout…this whole damn city…” Felix said between breaths. Realizing they were on a busy market street and people were staring at them, he pulled her into an alleyway where they had at least a bit more privacy.

As soon as his breathing returned to normal, Felix turned to her. “I heard what you said after I got hurt. And don’t run away this time.” His hand tightened around hers. Her head dipped and she sniffled. Was she crying?

Her voice trembled. “I’m-I’m sorry.. I didn’t want to avoid you this week.. I was just scared.. I-I didn’t mean to say something so careless… I was so worried I said something selfish without even thinking about how you wo-“

Without thinking, Felix tilted her chin up with his free hand and kissed her. He wasn’t sure what possessed him in that instant to do that, but it had just felt so right.

It was a brief kiss, and they pulled apart after a second that felt like an eternity to Felix. His heart pounded, and he wasn’t sure if it was from sprinting or from kissing her.

“F-Felix?” Her mouth had dropped open in shock. She clearly hadn’t expected him to kiss her. And to be fair, Felix hadn’t expected to kiss her either.

“That means I love you too.” Felix said, avoiding her shocked gaze and trying to ignore his heart pounding. 

Suddenly, tears began running down her cheeks.

“W-What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Panicked, he got scared suddenly. Had he made a mistake by kissing her so suddenly? He hadn’t wanted to make her cry again.

Shaking her head, she giggled at him, but her tears didn’t stop. “N-no.. No.. It’s not that.. I’m so.. happy.. These are happy tears…”

Felix relaxed. He wiped her tears away with his thumb and kissed her again. This time it was longer, as he hadn’t taken her by surprise. When they stopped to breathe, their foreheads lingered, lightly touching with their noses brushing.

Reaching her hands up and resting them on gently on Felix’s face, she took a deep breath as if she were steeling her courage. “I love you!” 

Felix felt his face get warmer (if that was even possible at this point). The look of determination on her face combined with her tear stained cheeks made her look so adorable he wanted to kiss her again. Instead, he chuckled. “Yeah. I heard you the first time, remember?”

She pouted and playfully pinched his cheeks. “I just wanted to say it again! P-properly, I mean. And not while you’re bleeding out on the battlefield.”

He reached up and took her hands that were still resting on his cheeks into his hands and gently squeezed them. She leaned in and kissed him, with more vigor, perhaps unable to hold herself back after seeing him smile at her. Felix was sure he was in some type of heaven. Maybe he actually _had_ died on the battlefield. 

_'No... This is real.' _

When they pulled apart again, breathless and pink in the face, Felix was sure of one thing in that instant. He was exactly where he needed to be. 

By her side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They did it!!!!


	14. Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off- I am SO sorry for the impromptu mini hiatus this fic took. Finals absolutely destroyed me and I was having a really rough time with things, but the semester is over now and I passed all my classes! Please enjoy and thank you so much for sticking around!

Felix blinked groggily. Sunlight filtered into the room, signaling that it was maybe…mid-morning? Sleeping curled up against his side was Bernadetta, her hair in a state of morning disarray (probably just like his own, he thought) with her mouth hanging slightly open as she slept.

Felix couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes, he shocked himself with how adorable he found her. He’s quite certain he’s never found anything _“cute”_ in his entire life before Bernadetta.

Remembering the events of the previous day, he felt his face getting warm. They had actually kissed. A few times. Part of it felt like some weird dream. The thought that maybe he really did die and this was some strange afterlife still floated around at the back of his mind. They even walked back to her temporary quarters holding hands, (Felix was not the one to initiate, it had been entirely her) and to his everlasting relief, no one from the Kingdom Army saw them.

Felix wasn’t quite sure if he could ever be like Sylvain, loudly proclaiming his love for whatever girl he was seeing that day and being all over each other in public. Felix knew however, that Bernadetta preferred things just like he did, everything hidden away and in private. That night, sitting cross legged on the bed, they had even discussed ground rules. They weren’t going to tell anyone they were together until after the war- it just seemed simpler that way. By extension, kissing was reserved for private places. Handholding was alright as long as Sylvain wasn’t anywhere with a 5 mile radius. (Bernadetta had almost died laughing at that rule.)

Still gazing softly at her sleeping face, he turned on his side so he could face her better. He reached a hand out to gently caress her cheek. It was about time to be getting up, but he wanted just a few more moments of being able to see her sleeping face. She stirred as he brushed hair away from her eyes, and blinked at him for a moment before a sleepy smile spread across her face.

“About time you woke up, sleepyhead. I thought you were dead.” He poked her cheek.

She giggled and snuggled in closer to him. “You were the one that sort-of died! Can’t I get 5 more minutes?”

He felt his lips tug into a smile. “Nope. We have to get up.” Felix said, but he showed no sign of moving as she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

“Pleeeease? Fhirdiad is so cold, I don’t think I can get out from under the blanket..”

“Hm. Maybe I'll allow it just this once.” He began playing with her hair. He wouldn’t admit it, but he didn’t want to get up either. '_Maybe a few minutes longer wouldn’t hurt that bad',_ he thought as he watched her doze back off, securely against him. He really was becoming a total sap.

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As they ate breakfast in one of military halls in Fhirdiad, Ingrid came sprinting towards their table. “Felix! We’re having a war council meeting right now. His Highness just called it.”

Felix raised an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”

“We can talk more at the meeting. Sorry to whisk him away, Bernadetta.” Ingrid said apologetically.

“Y-you don’t have to apologize!” Bernadetta squeaked, embarrassed at the potential implication.

Ingried smiled at her before turning to Felix. “We should get a move on.”

Felix sighed before getting up and grabbing his bag. Leave it to the boar to call an impromptu council meeting. He turned back to Bernadetta. “I’ll find you after the meeting. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“O-okay… I’ll see you later!” She nodded and waved him off.

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As he walked with Ingrid, he felt her staring at him.

“Why are you staring at me?” He said, a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

“What?” Ingrid blinked at him innocently.

“You’re staring at me.” He crossed his arms.

She broke out into a laugh. “I’m sorry-It’s just- I think it’s cute.”

Felix scowled. “What?”

“You know, you and Bernadetta.”

Felix quickened his pace and walked a bit ahead of her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ingrid laughed. “It’s no use playing pretend anymore Felix. It’s no secret that you two are a thing. Even if it’s not official. Unless it is..?”

Felix wasn’t quite sure how to respond. He never was, whenever someone commented on his relationship with Bernadetta. Honestly, denying it outright to Ingrid just made him feel like he was being immature- she clearly knew what was going on.

He sighed. “Just don’t tell Sylvain. I’ll never hear the end of it from him and his stupid mouth.”

“So you two _are_ officially a thing?!” Ingrid’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.

Felix, afraid that his ears turning red would give away his embarrassment, continued walking ahead of her to obstruct her view of his face. “You’re being annoying.”

Ingrid giggled again. “Well, I’m happy for you! And here I was worried that you wouldn’t ever get married unless it was to your sword.”

“Didn’t we have a war council meeting that we’re currently walking to? Care to tell me what that’s about?” Felix said, eager to change the subject. 

Ingrid’s playful expression dropped. “That’s right. There’s been contact from the Alliance. Well- you’ll hear more during the meeting. I don't know all the details myself.”

And Ingrid was right. As it turns out, they had received a letter from Claude, requesting help fighting off Imperial forces. Dimitri had agreed to provide aid, but they were going to have to set off quickly in order to have a chance at making it in time.

Felix never really participated much in the war council meetings, and mostly let them pass by while absentmindedly wishing he could be training. It’s not like he ever had much input to begin with. His true passion was fighting, not planning and tactics.

However, as Dimitri listed who was to be brought to Derdriu and who was returning to the monastery from Fhirdiad, Felix noticed himself amongst those being sent to the monastery. When the meeting was dismissed, Felix charged up to Dimitri.

“Hold it boar. You’ve included me amongst those going back to the monastery.”

Dimitri just smiled at him. “Ah-yes. Its just that you were injured recently and-“

Felix cut him off abruptly. “Do you really think me so weak that I take one injury and I can no longer fight? Spare me your pity. I’ve recovered.” Felix said, his words laced with anger.

Dimitri just looked at him and shook his head. “I’m sorry Felix, but I won’t allow it. It’s just one battle. That’s my decision.” Dimitri said. He then just quietly gathered his papers and left the room after casting Felix an apologetic glance. 

For a moment Felix stood there in shock. He had never been left out of any of the previous battles- he was essential on the battlefield. With a surge of anger he almost kicked a chair. That stupid boar. Receiving any type of pity from Dimitri made Felix feel horrible.

He plopped himself on the front stairs of the building, feeling utterly pissed off. He tried to think about it. Maybe there was a fraction of truth in what the boar had said- it was partially correct that Felix was less than two days out from being discharged from the infirmary and not quite back to his regular standard of fighting- but it was still no reason to_ bench_ him.

Feeling particularly frustrated, Felix decided he’d rather let off steam at the training ground rather than sit around and waste time thinking about the boar. He needed to beat the shit out of a training dummy, at least for a little while.

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.

Feeling his wound ache a bit, Felix realized he might have been overdoing it. A good amount of time must have passed as well, since he was surprised to find that it was well into the afternoon when he had decided to take a break from destroying the courtyard’s training dummies.

A voice cut through his thoughts. “Felix! I thought you might be here!”

Bernadetta had poked her head around a wall and came jogging towards him, mindful not to step on the pieces of scattered wood around him.

With a sudden moment of realization Felix smacked his forehead. “Bernadetta... Agh- I said I was going to find you after the council meeting, didn’t I?” Now, he was even annoyed with himself for forgetting he promised to go find her. She must have been worried.

She shook her head and smiled. “Don’t worry! It’s okay. I figured you were here.” She took a spot next to him and sat down.

She probably heard the details of the council meeting from someone already and had come to check on him. Curious, he decided to ask. “Have you heard anything?”

Bernadetta fiddled with her hands. “Um, yes. We’re going to provide backup for the Alliance. But you’re being sent with the part of the army that’s returning to the monastery.”

Felix sighed and flopped on his back. “Yeah." There was silence for a moment. "I just can’t stand the boar pitying me like this. I can still fight. I’m not useless.”

Bernadetta shook her head. “You’re not useless. I think he really is just worried about you..." She paused. "I a-also wouldn’t want you back in battle so quickly either..” She was playing with the hem of her clothes now.

Felix sighed again, feeling guilty. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

Taking a deep breath, Bernadetta spoke. “Well, it’s okay because, I told them I also wasn’t going to take part in the next battle as well. I think I’d like to just go with the other troops back to the monastery.. With you.” Her hand reached over and she laced her fingers with his.

Like magic, Felix felt the parts of him that were still mad over not being deployed on the next battle melt away. It was just nearly impossible to remain in a bad mood when she said things like that. For a few moments they sat silently, Felix feeling silently grateful that she had also decided not to partake in the next battle. Sitting out of the battle was one thing, but sitting out of a battle that Bernadetta was fighting in would be unthinkable. Especially considering she would have died in the previous battle if he hadn't thrown himself in the way at the last moment. He wasn't letting her anywhere near a battleground without him anymore.

Suddenly he sat upright.

Startled by his sudden movement, Bernadetta jumped a bit. “F-Felix? What’s wrong?”

“Bernadetta. Come visit Fraldarius territory with me.”

She cocked her head at him. “W-what?”

“I might as well take advantage of not being in the next battle. While we’re all the way up here- we should go. You said you wanted to see it, right?”

Her confused face broke into a smile. “Yes.. Yes I did!” She threw her arms around his neck in a quick hug.

He wasn’t sure where the idea of visiting his family’s territory came from exactly, he knew she had mentioned wanting visit herself some day. He wondered if somehow getting mortally wounded had made him realize that death was all too real a possibility for both of them, and he wanted to to make use of the time they had.

While he was still angry at the boar, having an extra couple of days alone with Bernadetta would be a decent tradeoff.

“It'll be a short trip. There's not much to see there. I’ll inform the monastery bound troops that we’ll catch up with them in a few days time. It won’t be a problem.” he said.

In response, Bernadetta giggled.

Felix tilted his head at her, confused. “What?”

She shook her head, still laughing. “It's just-you seem sort of excited now.”

Felix crossed his arms. “What? I’m not allowed to be?” 

Bernadetta shook her head, laughing harder at his pouty face. “No! It's the opposite.. I like it." She paused, before continuing. "I think as each day passes, I get to see new parts of you that I’ve never seen before... And I want to keep seeing new parts of you, forever.”

Feeling his heart rate speed up a bit at her words, he impulsively leaned in and kissed her. It was a short kiss, but when they broke apart, her face was all pink.

“F-Felix! That’s n-not fair! Y-you said no kissing outside the bedroom!” she sputtered.

“Yeah well, that was payback. Besides, there’s no one here.” He shrugged, pleased with himself. It really wasn’t fair that he was the only one getting flustered all the time.

“You’re evil, you know that? Pure evil.” Now she was pouting at him adorably, although she was fighting back a smile. 

Felix smushed her cheeks with his hands. “Well come on then, this pure evil is getting hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.” 

He hopped to his feet and extended a hand to pull her up, but even after he did, her hand remained in his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they are in LOVE..... Thanks as always for reading! Next chapter they visit Felix's childhood home!


	15. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Bernadetta make their way to Felix's childhood home as the rest of the Kingdom troops head to Derdriu to provide aid for Claude and the Alliance.

The night before the troops head off for Derdriu, Felix and Bernadetta spent the evening in their room, preparing for their trip to the Fraldarius estate.

Bernadetta hums as she folds their clothes and lays them out on the bed. She sneaks a glance at Felix, who is sitting cross legged on the floor and eyeing two nearly identical steel swords, no doubt deep in thought over which to bring. She smiles to herself.

After putting a change of clothes and some rations in a drawstring bag, she walks over to him from behind and puts her arms over his shoulders and rests her chin on the top of his head. “You’re sure you don’t want to see off your friends?” She asks quietly. 

“They’ll be fine.” Felix shrugs, but Bernadetta isn’t too sure if he’s really alright with just letting them go.

She gently tightens her hold on him before she presses a kiss to the side of his temple before going back over to the bed to arrange her arrow case and check on her bow. Bernadetta still can’t help but feel a bit anxious still. “I hope they stay safe in Derdriu.. I wonder how Claude and the Alliance have been doing…”

Felix shrugged again. “The boar and the others must be feeling awfully confident, to march in to provide aid when we’ve only just take back our own capital city. Those Empire bastards are no joke.”

When he mentions the Empire, he almost feels Bernadetta flinch from across the room.

Suddenly feeling terrible, he shook his head. “Sorry.”

Bernadette shot him a weak smile. “Why are you apologizing?”

That made Felix feel somehow more guilty. He turned to face her directly. “The Empire.. It’s your home. Your friends.. They’re still there, aren’t they?”

Bernadetta played with the hem of her shirt. “Yes, but… What they’re doing is... It’s terrible. I don’t hate them, and I certainly don’t want to see them hurt… Even Edelgard… She.. Even after all she did..." Her voice breaks. "She’s still my friend, you know? Everyone here talks about her like she’s evil but.. All I can think about is the times we’ve spent talking and laughing the gardens. I can’t bring myself to hate her.. Or any of them..” She attempts to laugh again, but it comes out as a stifled sob. “I’m so stupid, aren’t I? Talking about the enemy like this..” She tries to wipe away her tears, but to no avail.

Felix quietly walks over and cups her face gently with his hands so she’s looking directly at him. She’s sniffling and tears gently stream down her cheeks, but he just brushes them away with his thumbs. “Stop that. You’re not stupid. You’re just…kind.”

_‘And I love that about you.’_

He doesn’t quite say the second bit- part of him still gets deathly embarrassed about verbalizing his emotions like that. But he knows she understands.

She quietly sniffles more and he pulls her close to his chest, praying that the war will be over soon, and as much as he adores the art of fighting, he just wants it all to be over for her sake. Forget the Empire and these damned politics. If the fighting could end only to ease her suffering, he would end it.

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The next morning, after a simple breakfast in the now empty halls where the Kingdom army had been residing, they ready a horse. Felix isn’t as good as riding as Bernadetta, so she proudly pats the double saddle with a spot in front reserved for Felix.

She grins at him. “Heheheh, special seat! All for you!”

Felix can’t help but shake his head and try to hide his smile as he climbs up onto it. Riding double saddle with his girlfriend is almost embarrassing, but seeing her cheery again after her tears the night before made him okay with it.

Thankfully Fraldarius territory is located right next to Fhirdiad, and the ride to Felix’s childhood home is less than a few hours on horseback. They chat about anything and everything- things Bernadetta wanted to paint, the cats at the monastery they’d named and how one was expecting kittens- it was endless. Felix never thought he was one for conversation but with Bernadetta he found he could talk to her for hours.

Felix found himself actually happy about this brief respite from the war that they’ve gotten. It almost feels strange. He’s mostly used to simply spending their quality time primarily at night, through hushed conversations as they’re curled up and about to sleep.

It’s refreshing to be out traveling and not being on a military march. There’s still a twinge of annoyance in his mind when he thinks of his friends marching off to fight without him- along with the nearly insatiable itch to fight or train- but it’s easier to deal with when he’s with Bernadetta.

He begins to think of their life after the war, and as Bernadetta excitedly points at some flowers growing at the side of the road, he begins to wish that they could just travel endlessly and go wherever. _‘Maybe that’s what we’ll do when this is all over.’_

Bernadetta shivering behind him snaps him out of his thoughts. “You alright?” He asks, turning backwards to check on her. Faerghus is cold almost year round, and he’s sure she’s not quite used to it.

She nods, but he can feel her snuggle closer to his back. “Geez, is the Kingdom always this cold?”

He chuckles. “Yep. You should visit Gautier territory. It’s even worse.”

The rest of their journey feels brief, and it wasn’t long before they finally rode up to a manor. The guard at the front gate snaps to attention, and his jaw drops once he sees Felix.

“L-lord Felix?”

Ignoring the man’s shocked expression, Felix speaks. “Hey. Go tell my uncle I’ve stopped in for a bit, will you?”

“Yes my lord! Right away!” The guard looks as though he’s seen a ghost and sprints off to the manor.

Bernadette tilts her head. “Why was he so startled?”

Felix rubs the back of his neck. "I don’t exactly visit home often. Even before we all met up at the monastery I spent a lot of time scattered about helping the resistance groups against the Dukedom. Me and the old man not getting on too well also contributed to that, I guess.”

Bernadetta tightens her arms around his waist with a small reassuring squeeze. “I see…”

Shaking his head to get his thoughts off his father, Felix continues. “Let’s get the horse put away. There’s a stable around to the side of the manor.”

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“Felix! It’s been entirely far too long. You’ve grown so much!” Felix’s uncle is a kind looking man, almost like a Rodrigue but with shorter hair, Bernadetta thinks to herself as she peeks at the man from behind Felix.

“I’ve also received the word on the news about your Father. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” His uncle casts his gaze downwards, tilting his head in a small bow.

Felix waves him off with a hand. “It’s fine. He died protecting the Kingdom.” He says, but Bernadetta sees his hand tighten into a fist. “Anyway, we’re just here for a quick visit.” Felix says.

His uncle smiles kindly. “That’s right. And who might this young lady be?”

Bernadetta pokes her head out from behind Felix. “H-hello. You have a beautiful estate.” She hates how small and timid her voice sounds, but meeting new people was always frightening the first time. 

Felix gestures towards her. “Her name is Bernadetta von Varley.”

His uncle blinks twice and the shock is clear on his face. “V-varley? Of the Empire’s House Varley?”

Felix crosses his arms over his chest and narrows his eyes. “She’s fighting for the Kingdom.” That’s all Felix offers on the subject and glares daggers at his uncle.

His uncle quickly regains his composure and smiles again. “I- I see. Well, enjoy your time visiting, and do remember Felix- you can always come home. This is your territory- your estate.”

With a respectful nod at the two, he left them be.

Finally alone, Bernadetta forces out a laugh. “I suppose it’s still always a bit of a shocker that I’m on your side, right?”

“Just ignore him.” Felix says, and Bernadetta can feel that he’s still somewhat tense from the conversation with his uncle.

Deciding she wanted to cheer him up she grabs his hand and pulls him forward. “Alright! How about you show me around? I want to see everything!”

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The afternoon was a bit easier. His uncle stayed clear out of his way, and Felix enjoyed watching Bernadetta explore his childhood home. He watched as she admired old paintings and suits of armor. He loved seeing the look of amazement on her face, regardless if what she was looking at was really something worth so much wonder.

He watched as she stopped in front of an old portrait of his family. It had been done when his mother was still alive, so he was still quite young in it, maybe 5 or 6. His mother’s smile is gentle, while Glenn and his father have identical stoic faces. It makes his chest hurt just looking at it.

“Oh, Felix! You were sooo cute!” she squeals.

He turns away and scoffs. “I hated dressing up for those silly portraits.” _‘And standing still for what seemed like forever…’_

Bernadetta laughs. “You’ve really changed a lot. You’re all grown up!”

Felix raises an eyebrow at her. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

She grabs his hand and squeezes. “A good thing.”

Felix feels the heat rushing to his face and he feels stupid suddenly. How was it possible she could always make him turn red from just holding his hand?

“Yeah, yeah. There’s more paintings down the hall, if you want to see.” He turns his face farther away from her in the hopes of hiding his blush, but he returns a gentle squeeze to her hand as he pulls her down the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in so long! Sorry! This chapter has just been sitting unedited in my notes for the longest while and I took a bit of a break from things..But I saw it was felibern week on twitter and decided to continue with this! Hope you enjoy! Also please hang out with me on twitter! I'm lonely!!! @remiyamon :3


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